4978 
L4lc 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 

OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


E  DRAMATIC  WORKS  OF  ARTHUR  LAW. 


V.   Country 


^   ^ 


M 


ouse. 


A    SATIRICAL    COMEDY     IN     THREE     ACTS. 


BY 


ARTHUR     LAW. 


PRICE  ONE  SHILLING  AND    SIXPENCE. 


»  Amateur  Fee  -for  each  repres€»ntation   of   this    Play 
is  Five  Guineas,  payable  in  advance  to 
Kamuei   French,  Limited,  26,  Southampton-street, 
Strand,  London. 


London  : 
AMUEL  FRENCH,  Ltd., 

PUBLISHERS, 

11      6,  SOUTHAMPTON  ST., 
STRAND. 


New  York  : 
SAMUEL   FRENCH, 

PUBLISHER, 

24,  WEST  22nd  STREET. 

tsm 


[ALL   RliJIITS  RESERVED.] 


ACTING   RIGHTS. 

NOTICE. — The  attention  of  those  who  take  part  in  or 
organise  dramatic  representations  should  be  called  to  the  law 
on  copyright.  All  representations  of  copyright  dramatic 
works  are  liable  to  fees,  if  either  money  or  consideration 
be  taken  for  adnjis.sion,  tickets  sold,  a  collection  made,  or 
where  any  theatre,  hall,  or  other  place  be  hired  for  such 
purpose.  It  is  absolutely  necessary  that  the  fees  for  plays 
should  be  paid  in  advance  and  an  authorised  permission 
obtained,  otherwise  each  person  taking  part,  or  causing 
such  play  to  be  represented,  is  severally  liable  to  a  penalty 
or  damages,  under  3rd  and  4th  William  IV.,  c.  15,  sec.  2. 
By  means  of  the  telegraph,  injunctions  can  be  obtained  to 
restrain  performances,  which,  if  ignored,  would  lead  to  the 
imprisonment  of  the  oflfenders.  Agents  are  appointed  in 
all  parte  of  the  kingdom,  and  are  authorised  to  collect  fees 
on  behalf  of  the  various  authors  or  proprietors,  and  are 
empowered  to  exact  full  penalties  where  fees  have  not 
been  paid  in  advance.  It  is  not  necessary  to  have  a 
printed  notice  on  a  play  to  the  effect  that  it  is  copyright, 
although  this  is  done  in  many  instanees.  To  save  useless 
correspondence  it  must  be  strictly  understood  that  no 
reduction  can  be  made  on  account  of  a  performance  taking 
place  for  the  benefit  of  a  charity,  or  any  other  cause  what- 
ever. Any  information  on  this  subject  can  be  obtained 
by  sending  a  stamped  directed  envelope  to  SAMUEL 
FRENCH,  Ltd.,  26,  Southampton  Street,  Strand,  London. 
Fees  on  the  plays  which  S.  French,  Ltd.,  collects  for  rmt»t 
be  paid  by  P.0>0.  or  cheque  to  the  above  address,  or  the 
authorised  Agents. 

The  fees  to  Amateurs  will  be  as  follow,  if  paid  in  advance  : — 

1  Act  Pieces.  2  Acts.  3  Acts. 

From  10s.  6cl.  to  42s.        158.  to  63s.      21s.  to  £5  5s. 

BURLESQUES  and  OPERAS  are  chargred  as  3  Act  Plays. 

It  is  advisable  to  ascertain  the  correct  amount  before  remitting. 
No  fees  can  be  refunded. 

A  Circular  respecting  the  liability  incurred  in  plajdng  copyright 
dramatic  works  without  permission  can  be  had  on  application. 

n7A:Ris*F  iL.is'r,   posrr  free. 


A    COUJSTPtY   3I0USK 


THE    PLAYS     OF   R.    C.    CARTON. 

IS.  6J.  each. 

LADY  IIUNTWORTH'S  EXPERIMENT. 
LIBERTY  HALL. 
SUNLIGHT  AND  SHADOW. 

THE   PL  A  YS    OF  H.    V.  ESMOND, 

IS.  6d.  each. 

BILLY'S  LITTLE  LOVE  AFFAIR. 

ONE  SUMMER'S  DA  Y. 

WHEN  IVE   WERE  TWENTY-ONE. 

WILDERNESS, 

THE  PL  A  YS  OF  MADELEINE  LUCETTE 
RYLEY. 

IS.  6d.  each. 
AN  AMERICAN  CITY. 
JED  BURY  JUNIOR. 
MICE  AND  MEN. 

THE  PLAYS    OF  OSCAR   WILDE. 

IS.  6J.  each. 

IMPORTANCE  OF  BEING  EARNEST. 
LADY  WINDERMERE'S  FAN. 


LONDON:   SAMUEL  FRENCH.  LIMITED. 


A  COUNTRY  MOUSE. 


A  SATIRICAL   COMEDY. 


IN   TEBEE  ACTS. 


BY 


ARTHUR   LAW. 

AUTHOR   OP 

■"'Hope,"  ''Mr.  Guffin's  Elopement,"  '"The  Happy  Return," 
'^^  Uncle  Samuel,"  "^  Mint  of  Money,"  ^'■Chirruper' 
Fortune,"  ''Gladys,"  '' John  Smith,"  ''All  Abroad,"  ''Dick 
Venahles,"  '' The  Judge,"  ''Culprits,"  "  In  Three  Vohunes," 
"  The  Magic  Opal,"  "  The  Neio  Boy,"  "  The  Great  Tay 
£in,"  "The  Ladies  Idol,"  "The  Shotoman's  Sivecthearlt" 
♦'  The  Sea  Flower,"  etc.,  etc. 


Copyright,  1904,  by  Samuel  French,  Limited. 


LoxDo^r : 
SAMUEL  FRENCH,  Ltp., 

FUBLISHERS, 

26,  SOUTHAMPTON  ST., 
STRAND. 


New  York: 
SAMUEL    FRENCH, 

Publisher, 
24,  WEST  22XD  STREET, 


Digitized  by  the  Internet  Archive 

in  2008  with  funding  from 

IVIicrosoft  Corporation 


http://www.archive.org/details/countrymousesatiOOIawa 


A    COUNTRY    MOUSE. 

J'roduced  at  the  Prince  of  Wales'  Thtatre^ 
February  27th,  1902. 


CIIA.^ACTERS: 


The  Duke  of  St.  Kitts  {aged  G5)... 
Lord  Robert  Wyckliara  {afjed  30) 
John  Bowlby,  M.P.  {aged  30)  ... 
TJie  Hon.  Archibald  Vyse  {aged  28) 
<Jephcot  {a  butler,  aged  60) 
Footman  (ffiycci  25) 
Lady  Sylvia  Bowlby  {aged  26)   ... 

Violet  Aynsley  (aged  24) 

Angela  Muir  (rt!/erf  18)     

JMrs.  Cropper  {aged  50) 


Mr.  C.  W.  Somerset 
Mr.  Aubrey  Fitzgerald 
Mr.  J.  D.  Beveridge 
Mr.  Gerald  Du  Maurier 
JIr.  Frederick  Volpe 
Mr.  H.  Te.mpletgn 
Miss  Granville 
Miss  Vake  Featherstok 
Miss  Axxie  Hughes 
Mrs.  E.  H.  Brooke 


7571 59 


'Vi, 


ACT    I. 

A  Handsomely  Furnished  Drawing-room. 

(27ie  furniture  shown  in  the  plans  is  only  what  is  reqidred' 
for  the  stage  bi(si7iess. 


A  COUNTRY  MOUSE. 


ACT  I. 

Time. — Evening. 

Scene. — Drmving-room  in  Lady  Sylvia  Bowlby's  house  m 
Parh-lane. 

Lady  Sylvia  and  Violet  Aynsley  discovered.  Lady 
Sylvia  is  seated  on  '''■vis-a-vis"  seat  up  l.c,  takimj 
coffee  aqy  from  Jephcot,  who  stands  K.  of  her  with, 
coffee  service.  'Vioi.et:  is  seated  on  chair  dovn  i,.,  irit!i> 
coffee  cup  in  her  hand,  lighting  cigarette  which  Footman,. 
xolio  stands  L.  of  lier,  is  handing  her.  Angela  Muxr 
is  heard  j)laying  a  dreamy  air  on  the  j)ia)io  in  the 
inner  room. 

Lady  S.  I  think  you'll  find  those  cigarettes  rather  good. 

Violet.  A  new  kind  ? 

Lady  S.  I  fancy  they  are.  (the  Footjian  hands  cigarette 
to  Lady  Sylvia  ;  shetaUesone  and  lights  it) 

Violet,  {puffing  out  smol^e)  Awfully  nice  and  not  too 
strong. 

Lady  S.  Do  you  inhale  ? 

Violet.  Bob  is  trying  to  teach  me,  but  I  don't  get  on 
veiy  fast.     He  says  it's  well  worth  learning. 

Lady  S.  (smoking)  Humph  !  Yes,  they're  not  half  bad, 
are  they  ?  (exit  Footman  r.  foUon-ed  hg  Jephcot). 

Violet.  A.l.     Where  did  you  get  them  ? 

Lady  S.  He  sent  me  the  box  this  morning. 

Violet.  Your  husband  ? 

Lady  S.  No. 

Violet.   One  of  the  others  ? 

Lady  S.   The  other. 

Violet.  Which  is  that  1 

Lady  S.  Archie. 

Violet.  Mr.  Vyse  % 

Lady  S.  Yes. 

Violet.  Oh  !     Ts  he  still— — 

Lady  S-  Still  !  He  always  was — he  always  is — he  always 
will  be. 

Violet.  How  nice  !     Does  your  husljand  know  ? 


6  A   C(;;UN'i"KY    MOUSE. 

Lady  S.  I've  not  the  least  idea. 

Violet.  I  suppose  he  would  kick  u])  a  shine. 

Lady  S.  I  hope  he  knows  his  ])lace  better  than  that.  My 
dear  child  !  John  Bowlby,  of  Bowlby,  Hooper  and  Co.'s 
Entire  !  A  man  whose  name  is  in  gilt  letters  over  half  the 
public  houses  in  England  !  \ou  don't  imagine  for  one 
moment  he  would  presume  to  question  my  right  to  do  as  I 
please  ? 

"N'lOLET.   He  takes  marriage  easily  1 

Lady  S.  Pie  takes  it  as  he  tinds  it. 

A'lOLET.  But  those  kind  of  people — you'll  forgive  me, 
•dear,  won't  you  ?  Those  kind  of  people  so  often  have  old- 
fashioned  ideas  as  to  the  sanctity  of  the  marriage  tie. 

Lady  S.  He  may  have  the  prejudices  of  his  class,  I  dare- 
say. I've  no  wish  to  deprive  him  of  them  ;  but  he  can't 
«x])ect  them  to  affect  me  in  any  way.   {tlie  piano  stops) 

Violet.  Well,  I'm  glad  you're  so  hai)pily  married  ;  and 
I'm  curious  to  see  Mr.  Bowlby. 

Lady  S.  Haven't  you  met  my  husband  ? 

Violet.  Never. 

Lady  S.  Oh,  he's  here  sometimes.  Indeed,  I  asked  him 
to  dine  to-night,  but  he  said  he  would  be  detained  in  the 
House.  They've  got  a  debate  on  beer  connected  with  glu- 
cose or  arsenic  or  something,  and  I  believe  they  e.xpect  him 
to  speak. 

Violet.  Is  he  a  great  s]ieaker  ? 

Lady  S.  Yes  ;  in  the  House  of  Commons.  Not  in  mine. 
But,  really,  lies  a  very  good  fellow,-  and  I've  nothing  to 
complain  of.  Ife  doesn't  care  a  bit  iiow  much  money  I 
spend.     I've  never  been  out  of  debt  since  I  married  him. 

Violet.  What  a  dear  man  !  1  was  in  Cairo,  you  know, 
•when  you  married.     Where  did  you  pick  him  up? 

Lady  S.  In  Monte  Carlo.  My  father  had  lost  a  pot  of 
money  at  the  tables.  He  was  playing  on  a  system  by  which 
he  was  bound  to  win  in  the  long  run.  Unluckily  he  couldn't 
run  long  enough,  and  on  this  particular  night  he  was  stoney 
broke.  John  happened  to  be  staying  at  our  hotel,  and  ray 
father  made  himself  very  agreeable  and  borrowed  a  few 
thousands  from  him,  only  to  lose  them  all  the  next  day. 
Juhu  was,  of  course,  too  delighted  to  be  of  use  to  a  Duke, 
and  never  expected  to  be  repaid,  but  my  dear  old  dad  is 
absurdly  punctilious  in  these  matters,  so,  having  no  money, 
he  paid  him  in  kind. 

Violet.  In  kind  '>. 

IjADY  S.   Yes.     He  introduced  him  to  me. 

Violet.  And  now  you  are  married  and  settled. 

Lady  S.    C/nsettlei,  darling.      Of_la;e,  terribly  itiisettled. 


A   COUXTRY    MOUSE.  7 

Violet.  Our  friend  Archie  ? 

Lady  S.  Yes.  He's  tired  of  playing  the  role  of  the  tame 
cat  on  the  hearthrug,  and  he  wants  me  to  run  away  with 
him. 

Violet.  IMy  dear  girl ! 

Lady  S.  Of  course  I  wouldn't  tell  everyone. 

Violet.  I  suppose  not. 

Lady  S.  But  1  can  trust  voxi. 

Violet,  {rises,  crosses  in  front  of  Lady  S.,  and  puts  coffet 
■cnp  on  table  R.c.)  It  won't  do,  Sylvia.     It's  not  good  enough 

Lai>v  S.  I'd  have  married  him  long  ago,  but  he  had  m 
in,.:icy. 

Violet.  And  what  has  he  now  ?  (Jciaimj  over  back  of  soft 
n.c.) 

Lady  S.  Less  than  ever,  poor  man. 

Violet.  Tlien  how  in  the  world ? 

Lady  S.  ]My  hu.sband  settled  two  hundred  thousand  on 
mc.  And  I'm  credibly  informed  that — in  these  cases — 
luiirnage  settlements  are  not  disturbed. 

Violet.  Humph  I  {comin'jdou-n  k.  end  of  sofa)  Mr.  Bowlby 
is  reputed  to  have  something  like  titty  thousand  a  year — 
ifcii't  ho  ? 

Lady  S.  About  that. 

Violet.  And  two  hundred  thousand  means — let  me  see — 
about  eight  thousand  a  year.     That's  rather  a  drop,  isn't  it  ? 

Lady  S.  I  believe  in  love  in  a  cottage,  (rises  and  puts 
■coffie  Clip  on  table  R.c.) 

Violet.  And  a  dinner  of  herbs  1  (sits  on  sofa)  Or  no 
dinner  at  all  ;  but  tea  and  boiled  ec'gs  1  My  sweet,  romantic 
friend,  believe  me,  when  boiled  eggs  come  in  at  the  door 
love  flies  out  at  the  window. 

Lady  S.  You're  horribly  mercenary,  (stands  l.  end  of  iofa) 
It  is  simply  this  ;  Have  I  the  right  to  destroy  Archie's  life  ? 
Am  I  justified  in  letting  him  go  about  the  world  with  a 
haunted  look  in  his  eyes  and  a  breaking  heart  1 

Violet.   What  about  i\Ir.  Bowlby's  heart  ? 

Lady  S.  That  could  be  easily  nve"ed.  I  would  see  that 
my  father  arranged  with  the  Prime  Minister  to  make  him 
a  baronet. 

Violet.  Look  here,  Sylvia — do  you  really  mean  this  ? 

Lady  S.  I  don't  know.     I'm  thinkiuL;. 

Violet.  Take  my  tip,  and  go  on  thinking. 

Lady  S.  Ah,  you  don't  know  what  love  is.   (goes  slou-lij 

to  L.C.) 

Violet.  Oh,  don't  I  ?  Ha,  ha,  don't  I  ?  What  do  you 
«up}iose  I  svnt  you  that  note  for  to  day,  asking  you  to  calJ 
jue  Mrs.  Aynsley  before  the£e  people  here  to-night  1 


8  A   COUNTRY    MOUSE. 

Lady  S.  (going  to  sofa,  ii.c.)  Well— really— I  didn't  know. 
And  I've  no  idea  now. 

Violet.  Because  I'm  in  love  with  Bob. 

Lady  S.  Lord  Robert  Wyckhani?  (sits  on  sofa  hesider 
Violet) 

VioLKT.  Yes. 

Lady  S.   What's  that  to  do  with  it  ? 

Violet.  Everything.  Don't  you  know  that  he's  one  of 
those  men  who  are  never  attracted  by  an  unmarried  woman  ?' 

Lady  S.   And  you  have  let  him  believe ? 

Violet.  I'm  married  1  Precisely,  (sliou-ing  icedding  ring 
on  Iter  finger)  Look.  There  is  the  magic  circle  which  holds 
him  fast.  Jt  came  about  quite  by  accident.  The  tirst  time 
I  met  him  my  father  was  with  me  ;  and,  somehow  or  other,. 
Bob  got  it  into  his  head  that  my  venerable  dad  was  my 
husband.  I  thought  it  was  rather  fun  and  didn't  undeceive 
him.  Then — with  very  little  preamble,  for  he  doesn't  los& 
lime — he  assured  me  he  had  an  insuperable  objection  to 
spiiis'ers.  lie  spoke  very  rrcely  about  it,  and  said  there- 
was  ro  real  latch  in  a  straight  Hat  course,  and  that  the  only 
true  sport  was  an  obstacle  race. 

Lady  S.  He's  sure  to  tind  you  out. 

Violet.  Not  if  I'm  careful.  Of  course  he  wanted  to  call 
on  me,  but  I  said  no,  once  for  all — and  he  thinks  it's  because- 
I  don't  want  him  to  meet  my  husband,  (tlie  piano  begins) 

Lady  S.  And  you've  really  lest  your  heart  ? 

Violet.  Every  scrap  of  it. 

Ijady  S.  Do  you  meet  him  ? 

Violet.  ConstaHtly  !  And  he  sends  me  such  lovely 
letters. 

Lady  S.  Letters  !     That's  giving  you  a  hold  over  him  ! 

Violet.  Oh,  he  never  signs  them,  and  they're  always- 
typewritten.     You  won't  catch  Bob  asleep. 

Lady'  S.  I  doubt  if  you'll  catch  him  at  all.  To  use  the 
Boer  vernacular,  Lord  Bob  is  remarkably  slim. 

Violet.  Quite  so.  At  the  same  time  I  aui  not  unpro- 
ficient  in  guerilla  tactics  myself. 

LadyS.    Well,  I  wish  you  luck,  dearest. 

Violet.  Thanks,  dnrling. 

Lady'  S.  {lisfeiiinij)  How  charmingly  your  cousin  plays. 
(rises  a)al  goes  shmiy  L.) 

Violet,  (lies  back  and  puts  lerfeet  upon  so/a)  Doesn't  she  ?' 
I'm  awfully  fond  of  Anjjela.  She's  so  amusingly  unsophis- 
ticated.    Such  a  dear  little  country  mouse. 

Lady'  S.    Is  she  staying  with  you  long? 

Violet.  No,  she  ^.oes  home  in  a  few  days.  She  lives- 
wilh    her  aunt,  you  know,  in  a  sweet  little  cottage   near 


A   COUNTRY    MOUSE.  9* 

Dorking  :  all  honeysuckle  and  rosei  and  creepers  anJi 
tliiii;,'s. 

Lady  S.  How  delightful  !  I  feel  sometimes  I  could  be 
q-ui'e  happy  in  leading  a  peaceful,  idyllic  existence,  (sits  on- 
citdir  doicn  L.) 

Violet.  I  know  that  feeling.  It  comes  at  the  end  of  the- 
season,  and  lasts  about  three  weeks,  {murmur  of  voices- 
ovfsiJc)  Ah,  here  are  the  men.  They've  not  hurried  them- 
selves, I  must  say. 

Lady  S.  No,  they've  taken  their  time,  {pointinfjcd  Violet's- 
fed)  Vi  I  Vi,  dear  I  {the  piano  stojjs) 

Violet.  What? 

Lady  S.  You're  showing  a  good  deal  of  stocking, 

Violet.  Yes,  but  I'm  not  supposed  to  know  it. 

Enter  the   Duke  of  St.  Kitts,   Mr.   Vyse  and  Lord- 
Robert  Wyckham  r.  ;  tlie'j  are  all  lavQhin<i  heartthj. 

Duke.  Yes.  And  all  this  time  she  was  in  the  window- 
behind  the  curtains,  (laughs  and  goes  L.c.  ^lp  stage) 

Vyse.  (up  stage  c  )  No  !  No  !  (laughs) 

Duke  She  Wiis.  They  found  one  of  her  shoes  there, 
{laughs) 

LoKD  R.  (upstage  R.c,  laughs)  You  ought  to  send  it  to- 
*' The  Pink  'un."  (Uvighs) 

Lady  S.  Well,  you  all  seem  very  merry. 

Violet.  What's  the  joke  ? 

Vyse.  Oh— nothing.     Only  one  of  the  Duke's  stories. 

Violet.  Oh,  do  let  us  hear  it. 

Lady  S.  No,  certainly  not.  (rises) 

Lord  R.  (going  to  bach  of  sofa  r.c  )  I've  been  telling  the- 
Duke  he  ought  to  write  his  reminiscences. 

Lady  S.  I  hope  he'll  do  nothing  of  the  kind,  (goes  vp  c.) 

Violet.  I  wish  he  would.  I'm  so  fond  of  reading  the^ 
lives  of  great  men. 

Vy.se.   The    book   would   sell   like  wild-fire,    (joins  Ladtt 
Sylvia  Bowlby  vp  c.) 
^  Duke.   If  I  could  find  a  publisher. 

Vyse.  Oh,  you'd  find  a  publisher  fast  enough.  The  q\it2' 
tion  is  whether  the  libraries  would  take  it. 

Lord  R.  I  tell  you  what.  Write  it  in  French.  French 
covets  a  multitude  of— obstacles,  (comes  to  L.  end  of  sofa  R.c): 

Duke.   That's  a  deuced  good  notion,  (sits  on  couch  up  L.) 

Violet,  (to  the  Duke)  Don't  forget  to  send  me  a  coj^y.  (to- 
Lord  Robert  Wyckham  vho  is  standing  beside  her,  looking/ 
at  her  feet  on  the  couch)  Do  you  want  to  sit  down? 

Lord  R.  Oh,  pray,  don't  move. 

Violet.  I  thought  you  were  looking  for  a  seat. 


10  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Lord  Ti.  My  eyes  are  where  my  Iiearb  is— at  your  feet ! 

Violet.   (ijnicJdij  putting  tier  feet  doim)    How  very  iu'etty  ! 

LoKD  II.  Tliey  are.  (sits  hesiile  her)  Do  you  know,  1  w<i3 
'half  afraid  your  husband  luiglic  he  here  to-iii^ht. 

Violet.  Oh,  no.  I  never  brini;  my  husband  with  ute- 
Besides,  of  course,  to-night,  I 

LoKD  R.   Expected  me. 

Violet.  (aMAhj)  Did  1  ?   I  forget. 

Lor.D  K.  No,  you  don't.  You  knew  perfecll}'  well  I  was 
•coming. 

Violet.  How  could  I  know  ? 

LoKD  R.  You  had  my  note  this  morning. 

Violet.   I  get  so  many  notes. 

LoKD  R.  Wliy,  you  told  me  no  one  wrote  lo  you  but  I  ! 

Violet.   Whac  a  lot  of  stories  1  tell  ;  dun't  I  ( 

Dike,  (to  Lady  Sylvia)  What's  become  of  JVIiss  Muir  ? 
'{Uie  piaii')  beijiiis) 

Lady  S.   She's  in  the  next  room. 

Vyse.  All  alone  ?  The  poor  child  will  think  we're  desert- 
ing her.  {going  l.)  I'll  go  and 

Dt'KE.  No.  (mes  and  stops  Vyse)  You  stop  and  talk  to 
.Sylvia.  You  sat  next  Miss  IMuir  at  dinner.  (cJincldlng) 
You've  had  yonr  innings.     Now  it's  mu  turn,   {exit  L.u.  e.) 

Violet.  (as^VJe  io  Lord  Robert;  I  fancy  our  friend  Archie 
is  going  to  catch  it  (rises  and  goes  iip  stage  icith  Lord 
R()I!Ert  ;  they  sta^id  by  firep>laee) 

Lady  S.  (to  Vyse)  I  thought  we  were  never  going  to  get 
a  word  together  to-night. 

VvsE.  (Luohing  after  the  Duke)  I  hope  he's  not  going  to 
talk  the  'jsual  rot  to  her. 

Lady  &».    iTou  stayed  so  long  in  the  dining-room. 

Vyse.   One  comfort  is — she  won't  understand  him. 

Lady  S.  (slighlly  annoyed)  Yes — well — never  mind,  (the 
piano  stops  suddenly  in  the  middle  of  a  bar) 

Vyse.  She's  so  simple  and  childlike,  so  absolutely 
inartificial. 

Lady  S.  {sarcastically)  Quite  refresliing  ;  isn't  it? 

Vyse.  I  never  met  such  wonderful  innocence.  'Pon  my 
•fir  ul,  she — she  frightens  me  ! 

Lady  S.  I  don't  think  you  have  any  real  grounds  for 
.alarm. 

Vyse.  {turning  to  Jicr)  I  wonder  what  she  thinl^s  of  us  ? 

Lady  S.  Perhaps  she'll  confide  her  impressions  to  my 
(father.     You  may  trust  him  to  draw  her  out. 

Vyse.  He's — he's 

Lady  S.  A  wicked  old  man.  Quite  so.  We're  a  very 
«-vickcd  family.   Ever  since  we  came  over  with  the  Conqueror, 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  II 

we've  enjoyed  the  distinction  of  being  exceptionally  bud. 
(slight  paiise)  Archie,  I've  been  almost— shall  I  say- 
dreading  this  evening  'I 

Yyse.   You  mean 

Lady  S  I  promised  I  would  give  you  my  answer- 
to-night. 

Vyse.  (confused)  Yes— yes. 

Lady  S.  It's  an  awful  step  for  a  woman  to  t  ke.  {<joes- 
slowly  to  B.) 

Yy.se.  Yes.  (follorcs  her) 

Lady  S.  Every  ha'penny  gutter  rag  will  have  its  owii> 
particular  staring  headline. 

Vyse.  Yes. 

Lady  S.  And  the  sixpenny  weeklies  will  have  us  on  toast. 

Vyse.  Yes. 

Lord  Robert  ant?  Violet  sit  on  couch  up  l. 

LAnY  S.  Then  there's  another  thing. 

Vyse.  Yes? 

Lady  S.  (at  sofa  r.c.)  When  poor  dpar  INIarion  Stembridge 
left  htr  husband  he  revenged  himself  in  the  moht  ungentle- 
manly  manner  by  declining  to  sue  for  a  divorce,  in  spite  of 
her  writing  him  a  charming  letter  assuring  him  she  would: 
not-  defend  the  case. 

VvsE.  Beast  ! 

Lady  S.  Yes. 

Vy.^k.  Do  you  think  Bowlby  might  behave  badly  too  1 

Lady  S.  I  don't  know,  (sits  on  sofa  R.c.) 

Vyse.  I  say,  look  here,  you  know,  (sits  beside  her  on  sofa)' 
I've  no  right  to  let  you  risk  it. 

Lady  S.  But  if  /  am  willing 

Vyse.  'J  hat  doesn't  excuse  me.  To  allow  you  to  run  such. 
a — Oh,  it  would  be  infernally  dishonorable. 

Lady  S.   But  my  dear  Archie 

Vyse.  I  must  think  of  my  honour.  j 

Lady'  S.  I'd  no  idea  you  were  so  imaginative. 

Vyse.  If  I  didn't  care  for  you  so  much 

Lady  S.  Now  please  don't  quote  those  stujiid  old  lnies — 
"I  could  not  love  thee,  dear,  so  much,  loved  I  not  i.oiiour 
more."     When  Tennyson  wrote 

Vyse.  Lovelace,  Lovelace. 

Lady  S.  Well— whoever  it  was— he  didn't  know  what  he 
was  talking  about.  Archie,  this — this  c^uestion  is  not  for' 
you  to  decide.     It  must  rest  with  me. 

'     Enter  the  Duke  and  Angela  Muik  l.u.e. 

Duke.  You've  not  seen  it  !  Bless  my  soul,  you  don't  sny 
80  I     Have  you  been  to  "The  Jollity"  Theatre? 


12  A   COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Angela.  No. 

Dl'KE.  Oil,  you  must  go.  It's  a  ripping  pla,y.  "The 
Tlyawjiy  Girl."  Capital  music,  pretty  faces,  and  the  best 
show  of  leg — feet  in  London.  ^ 

Angela.  Really  ! 

Duke.  But  perhaps  you  don't  care  for  the  theatres  ? 

Angela.  I  do,  very  much.  But,  you  see,  I  live  in  the 
-country.  (Violet  and  Lord  Robert  rise) 

Duke.  And  you  bring  the  fragrance  with  you.  (to  the 
others)  Miss  Muir  is  so  delightfully  pastoral.  So  breezy, 
and  grassy — and — buttercuppy  ! 

Angela.  But  we  are  not  at  all  out  of  the  world,  you 
Icnovv.  (sits  on  vis-a-vis  c.) 

Violet,  (to  Lord  Robert)  Miss  Muir  lives  in  Surrey. 
■(sits  in  chair  down  l.  ;  Lord  Robert  comes  down  a  little 
K.c.) 

Angela.  And  we  are  only  a  mile  from  Dorking,  which  is 
■quite  a  nice  town,  where  they  frequently  have  entertain- 
ments in  the  Town  Hall. 

Duke.  Is  that  so  ? 

An(!ELA.  Oh  yes.  Last  month  we  had  a  conjuror  ;  and 
not  long  before  that  a  panorama  of  Jerusalem.  And  in  our 
own  little  village  we  are  very  gay  sometimes.  There's  the 
annual  concert  after  the  harvest  thanksgiving  ;  and  on 
Christmas  Eve  we  have  a  lecture  from  the  Vicar  with  a 
migic  lantern. 

Lady  S.  How  exciting  ! 

Angela.  It  is — very.  We  all  sit. in  a  dark  room,  you 
Tcnow  ;  and  every  now  and  then  somebody  screams.  I  don'b 
inow  why,  but  they  do. 

Violet.  Hysteria,  I  suppose. 

Duke.  Pinching,  I  imagine. 

Vyse  rises  and  goes  c.  as  if  to  sit  beside  Angela,  but  is 
anticipated  by  the  Duke  xoho  qnicMy  crosses  bchinl  her 
and  sits  r.  of  her  on  vis-d-vis.  Vyse  turns  np  stage, 
annoyed,  and  then  comes  down  L.  and  stands  R.  of 
Violet.  Lord  Robert  sits  beside  Ladv  Sylvia  on 
sofa  R.c. 

Angela.  Next  Tuesday  we  are  to  have  the  school- 
-children's  treat,  when  we  shall  run  races  and  play  games. 

Duke.  Kiss  in  the  ring  ? 

Angela.  Oh,  do  you  know  it  ? 

Duke.  I've  not  played  it  for  some  time. 

Angela.  I  could  soon  teach  you  the  rules. 

Duke.  No,  could  you?  Will  you  ask  me  down?  Will 
jou? 


A    COUNTRY    MOUSE.  13 

Anoela.  Oh,  we  should  be  too  pleased.  I'm  sure  my 
■aunt  would  be  delighted. 

Duke,  (aside  to  Angela)  We'll  talk  of  this  again. 

Lady  S.  Violet,  did  Miss  Muir  say  she  was  going  home 
oil  Tuesday  ? 

Violet.  Yes,  her  time  is  rather  short,  so  we  ai-e  doing  all 
we  can  in  the  meanwhile. 

Angela.  We  are  going  to  the  Zoological  Gardens 
to-morrow.     Arn't  we,  Vioitt  ? 

^'IOLET.  (to  Angela)  No.     On  Thursday,  dear. 

Angela.  There's  so  much  to  see,  and  London  is  such  a 
large  place.     There  seems  to  lie  no  end  to  it. 

Duke.  There's  only  one — the  West  End. 

Angela.  Really  1  But  it's  all  so  full  of  interest.  I  can't 
fancy  anything  more  delightful  than  to  be  able  to  spend 
one's  days  at  Westminster  Abbey,  and  the  Tower,  or  the 
British  Museum,  (to  the  Duke)  I  sujipose  you  often  go  to 
the  British  Museum  ? 

Duke.  Frequently,  (aside  to  her)  I'll  meet  you  there  on 
Triday,  if  you  like. 

Angela.  Oh,  but  are  you  sure  it  won't  inconvenience 
you  ( 

Duke.  Not  at  all.  I've  nothing  on.  If  I  had,  I'd 
put  it  ofi". 

Violet,  (rising)  Now  then,  Sylvia,  what  are  Ave  going 
to  do  ? 

Lady  S.  Anything  you  please,  (rises)  What  would  you 
iile  to  do  ?  (Lord  Rodert  rises) 

Violet.   Suppose  we  play  "bridge." 

Loud  R.  That's  the  game  ! 

Duke,  (rises  ;  to  Angela)  Do  you  play  it  ? 

Angela.  No.  (rises) 

Duke  (to  the  others)  She  doesn't  know  it. 

Angela.  But  you  mustn't  mind  me.  (turns  vp  stage  with 
Vyse,  icho  irhispers  to  her) 

Lady  S.  Yes,  yes.  (to  the  ofJiers)  What  do  you  say  to 
roulette  ? 

Duke.  Ah,  roulette  !  Come  along,  Mrs.  Aynsley.  (goes 
vp  stage  icith  Violet  and  ofi'  l.u.e.) 

Lord  R.  (crotsingt.  icithhAVX  Sylvia)  Oh,  is  it  in  there? 

Lady'  S.  "V'es.  (goes  up  stage  icith  Lord  Robert) 
Angela  secretly  slips  her  fan  behind  a  ciisliion,  on  tlie  sofa  R. 

Lord  R.  (to  Lady  Sylvia)  I  met  your  husband  to-day. 

Lady  S.  Indeed.  I've  not  seen  him  for  a  long  time.  How 
v/fiS  he  looking  ? 

Lord  R,  Very  fit,  I  thonoht.  (exit  l.u.e.) 

Lady  S.  (at  top  of  steps)  Are  you  coming,  Miss  Muir  1 


l^  A    COUNTRY    MOUSE. 

Yyse.  (looking  nhont  him  v.p  c.)  Miss  Muir  has  dropped 
her  fan  .somewhere. 

Angela,  (r.c.)  Please  don't  wait,  Lady  Sylvia,  {loo'.ciny 
about  her) 

Lady  Sylvia  looks  at  Axgela  and  Vyse  and  goes  off' 

L.U.E. 

Vy.se.  (goinfi  to  Angela)  At  last  !  {donni  c.) 
Angela.  Why  did  you  ask  me  to  pretend  to  lose  my  fan  ? 
{takes  fan  from  behind  cvsliion) 
Vyse,  You  don't  know  ? 
Angela.  I've  been  trying  to  guess. 
Vyse.  And  can't  you  'l 

Angela.  I  thought  you  must  have  some  good  reason,  bub 
— no,  it  quite  puzzles  me. 

Vyse.  I  wanted  an  excuse  for  staying  behind  with  you. 

Angela,  {as  if  puzzled)  Oh.  Oh,  you  Manted— oh— I'm 
afraid  you  must  think  mo  very  dull  r-nd  stupid.  I'm  a  littld 
slow  at  taking  things  in— but,  you  see,  I  live  in  the  country. 

Vyse.   I  never  met  anyone  like  you  before. 

Angela.  That's  what  the  Duke  said.  He  said  I  wasn't 
like  anyone  else,  and  that  he  would  back  me  for  a  monkey 
again.st  the  field.  I  don't  know  what  he  meant,  but  I 
thought  it  was  very  nice  of  him.  {goes  slowly  to  sofa  R.c.  and 
siti?,  \ysE  looks  io^cards  h.v.E.,  and  seeing  tlie  coast  is  clear, 
goes  to  her)  But  j'ou  want  to  play — what  did  they  call  it — 
roulette  i 

Vyse.  No,  I  don't. 
^  Ajs'gela.  {moving  a  little  R.  to  make' room  for  him  on  soft} 
You're  sure  I'm  not  keeping  you. 

Vyse.  {sitting  beside  her)  Xo.  (earnestly)  1  wish  I  had  met 
you  before. 

Angela.  Thank  you. 

Vyse.  Are  you  engaged  ? 

Angela.     Not  just  at  present. 

Vyse.   What!     'J  hen  you /nire  been  ? 

Angela.  Yes,  a  good  deal. 

Vyse.  Oh  !     I  thought— I  hoped 

Angela.  I  don't  think  I  quite 

Vyse.  I  asked  you  if  you  were  engaged  to  be  married  ? 

Angela.  Oh  !  (laughing)  Oh,  good  gracious,  no  !  I'm  far 
too  young  to  be  married. 

Vyse.  And  far  too  good — for  anyone. 

Angela.  Can  one  be  too  good  to  marry? 

Vyse.    Yoji  would  be  awfully  good  to  marry. 

Angela.  But  I  think  married  people  are  always  good. 
I'm  sure  those  I've  met  in  London  have  been  extremely 


A  COUNTRY   MOUSE.  15 

good,   particularly  the  husbands,   Avho   have   all   said  they 
would  do  anything  for  me. 

Vyse.  Do  you  know  what  you  are  ?  A  wild  flower.  A 
little  river-side  forget-me-not,  that  has  strayed  by  mistake 
into  the  stifling,  torpid  atmosphere  of  a  forcing-house. 

Angela.  Meaning  London  ? 

Vyse.  Yes.  The  men  here — these  men  who  say  all  kinds 
of  things  to  you  and  don't  mean  the  half  of  them.  Take  my 
advice,  and  don't  trust  a  single  man  you  meet. 

Angela.  {assnmi]irj  astonisliment)  Not  one? 

Vyse.  No. 

A:^GELA.  Except  you. 

Vyse.  Except  me,  of  course. 

Angela.  I'm  quite  sure  you  are  very  difi'erent  from  the 
others. 

Vyse.  I  hope  so.  You  attracted  me  from  the  tirst.  When 
I  took  you  down  to  dinner,  the  touch  of  your  hand  on  my 
arm  sent  a  thrill  up  to  my  shoulder.  Your  subtle  influence 
began  to  stir  me  with  the  soup.  When  we  reached  the 
entree  1  felt  a  distaste  for  everything  else,  and  I  couldn't 
look  at  the  sweet* — it  would  have  been  mockery  with  you 
beside  me.. 

Angela,  [venr  si njhj)  Xnd  1  was  enjoying  my  dinner  all 
the  time — little  knowing. 

Vy'se.  But  you  know  now.  Angela,  you  have  completely 
transformed  me. 

Angela.  I'm  very  glad. 

Vy'se.  I  feel  a  better  man  when  I'm  with  you.  (leans  back 
a  little) 

Angela,  {dropping  her  eyes  and  moving  slightly  nearerhitn) 
Then  you  ought  to  be  with  me  as  much  as  possible,  oughtn't; 
you  ? 

Vyse.  That's  what  I  was  thinking.  What — what  are 
your  engagements  ? 

Angela.  Well — on  Thursday  I'm  going  with  Violet  tf> 
the  Zoological  Gardens,  and  on  Friday  the  Duke  of 
St.  Kitts  has  promised  to  take  me  to  the  British  Museum. 

Vyse.  No,  no  !  {rises)  You  musn't  go. 

Angela,  {surprised)  Why] 

Vy'se.   It  would  be  shocking. 

Angela.  The  British  Museum  1  I  thought  it  vras  quite  a 
proper  place. 

Vyse.  It  isn't  the  place — {goes  c.)  it's  the  Duke,     [tarns 

Mp  C.) 

Angela,   {iconderingly)  Oh.     He  seems  very  nice. 

Vyse.  Yes,  but  he  isn't,  {comes  down  and  leans  over  hack 


16  A  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

of  sofa  a  Little  R.  of  he))  You're  so  ingenuous.     You  dent 
understand  tliese  things. 

Angela.  Of  course,  I'm  only  a  simple  girl.  I've  had 
very  little  experience.  You  see,  1  live  in  the  country,  (she 
looks  vp  at  him,  and  he  bends  his  head  h»  if  to  kiss  her,  at 
uhich  she  droj^s  her  eijes  andioithdraws  slightly  to  L.  ;  j)ause) 

Vyse.  Yes — well— it's  not  the  correct  thing  for  a  girl  to 
meet  a  man  alone. 

Angela.  Really  ! 

Vyse.  No.  (comes  rovnd  K.  of  sofa)  It's  cne  rf  those 
things  that  society  bars.  So  it's  never  done— openly.  Well, 
now— (sits  K,  of  her  on  sofu)  have  you  anything  on  to- 
morrow ?    Do  you  ever  ride  in  the  mornings  'i 

Angela.  I've  nothing  to  ride. 

Vyse.  Can't  you  ride  one  of  your  cousin's  horses  ? 

Angela.  I'm  a  little  afraid  of  strange  animals.  Now  if  I 
only  had  my  dear  old  donkey  with  me 

Vyse.  (amused)  Good  gracious  !  You  couldn't  ride  a 
donkey  in  the  Park  ! 

Angela.  C<  uldn't  I  ?  He's  perfectly  quiet,  and  wouldn't 
kick  anyone  But  —Violet  and  I  very  often  play  croquet  in 
the  mornings.     Do  you  play  croquet  ? 

Vyse.  Yes,  lather. 

Angela.  I  am  sure  Violet  would  be  very  pleased  if  you 
■would  come  over  to-morrow. 

Vyse.  Delighted. 

Angela.  It's  really  very  good  of  you. 

Vyse.  Good  of  me!  It's  awfully  good  of  you!  I'm  so 
eick  of  these  women  one  meets  every  day  with  their  brainless 
chatter  and  their  soulless  faces.  They  bore  me  to  death 
with  their  inanity  and  vapidity.  But  i/on— ah,  there's  a 
restfulness  and  fragrance  about  yoti  that  make  me  feel  like 
a  Sunday  afternoon  in  a  haytield. 

Lady  S.  (off  stage)  All  tight.  Play  for  me.  I  won't  be  a 
minute.  (Vyse  and  Angela  rise  on  hearing  her  voice  and 
Vyse  snatches  Angela's  fan  from  her  and  slips  it  behind 
cushion  ;  Angela  goes  up  c.) 

Vyse.  (quickly)  I  say,  what  time  to-morrow  ? 

Angela.  About  twelve. 

Vyse.  Twenty-seven,  Rexham-gardens,  isn't  it? 

Angela.  Yes. 

Enter  Lady  Sylvia,  l.u.e.  f 

Vyse.  (pulling  cushion  arvay  and  disclosing  fan)  By  Jove  : 
Here  it  is,  I  declare  !  (holds  tip  fan). 

Lady  S.  (with  intention)  Oh,  you've  found  the  fan  at  last  • 
Vyse.   Yes,     Behind  the  cushion,  (gives  fun  to  Angela) 


COUNTRY   MOUSE.  17 

.Angela.  Oh,  thanks,  so  much. 
XiADY  S.   What  a  hunt  j-ou've  had,  haven't  you  ? 
Vyse.  Yes  ;  I  thought  we  should  never  find  it. 
Lady  S.  So  did  I. 

Vyse.  (aside)  Damn!  (turns  itp  to  Jircplacc) 
Lady  S.  (dcnvn    l.)  Well  ;  roulette   is  in   full  swing  and 
!Mi6s  Muir  is  losing  all  the  fun. 

Enter  John  Bowlby,  r. 

Lady  S.  John  ! 

Vyse.  Ah,  Bowlby. 

Lady  S.  Is  the  debate  over  1 

Bowlby.  Yes.  How  are  you,  Vyse?  (to  Lady  Sylvia) 
Yes,  it  finished  early,  and  there  was  no  other  business  of 
importance,  so  I  thought  I'd  come  home  for  a  change. 

Lady  S.  (to  Anoela)  This  is  my  husband  (introdncing 
■them)  John — Miss  Muir.  (Vyse  comes  doxim  to  Lady  Sylvia) 

Bowlby.  (shaking  hands)  How-de-do,  Miss  Muir  ?  Sorry 
3  couldn't  accept  my  wife's  invitation  to  dinner  to-night,  buc 
I'm  so  tied  to  the  House. 

Angela,  (sumpathically)  Oh,  haven't  you  been  well  l 

Boavlby.  (smiliiig)  I  mean  the  House  of  Commons. 

Angela,  (smilinq)  Oh — how  very  stupid  I  am  !  (Bowlby 
<xnd  Angela  go  r.  and  stand  talking  {(pait) 

Lady  S.  (going  ^ip  l.  witlt.  Vyse)  I've  made  up  my  mind, 
Archie.     I've  decided  at  last. 

Vyse.  I  was  sure  you  would  see  it  in  the  true  light. 

Lady  S.  I've  treated  you  badly. 

Vyse.  No,  no.  (theg  stop  at  foot  of  steps) 

Lady  S.  But  I  feel  I  can't  spoil  your  life 

Vyse.  You  mustn't  mind  me. 

Lady  S.  And  so — and  so,  dear,  you  shall  take  me  away. 

Vyse.   (aghast)  But,  Sylvia 

There  is  a  little  laugh  from  Bowlby  and  Angela. 

Lady  S.  S-s-sh  !  Don't  say  anything  more  now.  I'll  send 
■you  a  note  to-morrow,  (goes  quickly  vp  steps  and  off  L. u.e. 
VvsE  stands  looking  after  her  aghast,  and  then  quickly  follows 
■her  off  L.u.E.) 

Bowlby.  I  never  forget  a  face,  and  I  know  yours 
-perfectly. 

Angela.  I  don't  see  how,  because  I  live  in  the  country. 

Bowlby.  And  that's  where  I've  seen  you.  You  live  in 
Dorking,  don't  you  ? 

Angela,  (crossing  l.)  Near  Dorking. 

Bowlby.  Well,  I've  met  you  in  the  town  more  than  once. 
I  go  down  there   every  now  and  then,  because  our  brewery 


18  A   COrXTRY   MOUSE. 

is  til  ore.     You  must  have  seen  the  place— Bo  wlby,  Hooper^ 
and  Co. 

Angela.  Oh  !     Are  you  Bo  wlby,  Hooper  and  (Jo  1 
BowLBY.   Part  of  them. 

Angela.  Really  '.  We  always  have  your  beer.  Aunt 
Sarah  has  a  four  and  a-half  gallon  cask  in  eveiy  three  months. 

Bow  LEY.  That's  very  good  of  her.  I  hope  by  a  strict 
attention  to  business  to  ensure  a  continuance  of  her 
patronac^e.  (tlifn  laKgli)  And  how  long  have  you  known  my 
wife,  IMiss  Muir  1 

Angela,  {slls  in  chair  l.)  I've  not  met  her  till  thi* 
evening.  I'm  staying  with  my  cousin,  Violet  x\ynsley  ;  and 
as  she  was  coming  to-dinner  here  to-night  Lady  Sylvia  very 
kindly  asked  her  to  l)riiig  me  with  her. 

BowLCY.   What  other  men  are  here  beside  Mr.  Vyse  ? 

Angela.  T1"^  Duke  of  St.  Kitts— and— a  Lord  lloborb 
Wyckham. 

BowLBY.  A  'Lord  Robert  1     The  Lord  Robert. 

Angela.   Oh  !     Is  he  a  very  famous  man  ? 

BowLCY.  Well — famous  is  not  quite  the  word.  But  it's- 
very  near  it.  I  think,  Miss  Muir,  you  don't  know  very 
much  of  London  life,  do  you  ! 

Angela.  No,  I'm  very  backward.  But  I'm  gradually 
acquiring  a  good  deal  of  information. 

BowLBY.  Humph  !  It's  a  pity  !  I  mean— you'll  forgive 
nie— won't  you  ?  But  you  impress  me  with  being  ditlerent 
from  other  young  ladies,  and,  although  I've  no  right  to 
advise  you,  will  you  give  me  the  privilege  of 

Angela,  (risinri)  I'm  so  sorry,  but  I'm  engaged  to-morrow, 
Thursday  and  Friday. 

BowLBY.  (puzzled)  I  beg  your  pardon  ?  I  meant  to  say 
that  if  you'll  take  my  advice  you'll  be  content  with  your 
life  in  the  country. 

Angela.  I  think  it's  tremendously  good  of  you  to  take  sO' 
much  interest  in  me. 

BowLBY.    It  is  because  you  make  me  feel 

Angela.   A  better  u  an  1 

BowLBY.   What  1  {tarns  away  to  conceal  a  smiley 

Angela.   Nothing.     I  interrupted  you.  {sits  on  vis-a-vis) 

BowLBY.  You  make  me  feel  that  you  are  still  unsopliisti- 
cated — unspoilt.  Of  course,  there  are  heaps  of  nice  people- 
in  London,  Init- well,  there  are  different  sets,  and  it  would' 
be  a  thousand  pities  if  you  were  to  fall  into  the  wrong  one. 

Angela.  That's  why  Violet  was  so  anxious  for  me  to  meet 
Lady  Sylvia.  She  said  her  set  was  better  known  than  any 
other  in  town,  and  that  if  you  once  got  into  it  you  never  got. 
out  of  it. 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  19 

BowLBY.  That  is  certainly  true. 

Angela.  Tlien  I'm  sure  I'm  a  very  fortunate  girl.  I 
thiiik  Lady  Sylvia  is  perfectly  charming,  don't  you  1  But 
of  course  you  do,  because  you're  her  husbi^nd. 

BowLBY.  Yes— oh,  yes  1  (goes  R.  ;  Angela  rises) 

Enter  Lady  Sylvia,  Vyse,  Violet,  the  Duke,  and  Losd 
Robert,  l.u.e.  Lady  Sylvia  and  Violet  are  wear- 
ing their  opera  cloaks,  and  Violet  is  carrying 
Angela's. 

Vyse.  We  shall  be  in  lots  of  time  for  the  last  ballet.  It 
isn't  on  till  eleven. 

Lady  S.  We  shall  be  there  in  ten  minutes.  Miss  Muir, 
we  are  all  going  to  the  "Empire"  to  see  the  new  ballet. 
You'd  like  to  come,  wouldn't  you  1  (goes  vp  stage  loith  Vyse) 

Angela.  I  shall  be  delighted. 

Violet.  I  said  you  would,  dear,  (aside  to  Duke)  Who  ia 
that  ? 

Duke,  {looking  at  Bowlcy)  That  ?  It's  only  Bowlby  ! 
[tahs  Angela's  cloak  from  Violet) 

Violet.  Rexlly. 

Duke,  {to  Bowlby)  Ah,  John  ?  Back  from  the  House, 
John?     Couldn't  keep  awake  any  longer,  eh  ?  {chuckles) 

Enter  Jevbcot,  the  hn.ller,  r.u.e. 

Jephcot.  The  hansoms  are  at   the   door,  my  lady,  {exit 

K.U.E.) 

Bowlby.  Hanfsoms  ? 

Lady  S.  Yes  ;  we  couldn't  wait  for  the  carriage.  (Vysh 
■comes  down  to  Angela) 

Duke.  So  we're  going  two  and  two.  (goes  quickly  to 
Angela  c,  to  intercept  Nyh^)  Miss  Muir— I'll  take  care  of 
IMiss  Muir.  {puts  cloak  round  her  shoulders  as  they  go  L. 
together) 

Angela.  Oh,  thank  you  so  much,  {stands  l.  toith  the 
Duke  tvhile  he  fastens  her  cloaiz  for  her) 

Vyse.  {at  d.r.  u:ith  Lady  Sylvia)  I  say — you  people. 
Whoever  geti  there  tirst  must  wait  in  the  foyer,  or  we  shall 
niiss  each  other. 

Lady  S.  (((side  to  Vyse)  That  wouldn't  be  at  all  a  bad 
idea — to  miss  each  other,  (exit  xoith  Vyse  d.r.) 

Lord  R.  (going  k.  with  Violet)  How-de-do,  Bowlby  ? 
Good-night. 

Bowlby.  {mechanically)Good-iught.  (exeuni  Lord  Robert 
and  Violet,  d.r.) 

Angela,  (going,  with  her  arm  in  the  Duke's)  By-the-by — 
.are  you  fond  of  croquet?  (they  stop  c.) 


20  A   COUNTRY    MOUSE. 

DuKK.   Croquet  ?     Why  ?     What  about  croquet  ? 

Angela.  Nothing — only  Violet  and  1  frequently  play  it  ins 
the  inornini^fs  about  twelve  o'clock. 

Duke,  {jiimphnj  at  it)  Do  you,  by  .Jove? 

Angela.  Violet  would  bo  awfully  pleased  to  see  you. 
Our  addres.s  is  twenty-seven,  Rexham  Gardens,  {the  Duke 
chuckles  a.s"  they  (jo  quickly  to  D.R.) 

Duke,  {stopyimj  at  d.r.)  I  say,  you're  not  afraid  of  a 
hansom,  are  you  ? 

Angela.  Not  in  the  least. 

Duke.  If  you  are — sit  tight  and  cling  to  me. 

Angela.  Thank  you — I  will,  {exit  lolth  Duke,  d.r.  ;, 
DowLBY  (joes  slowly  to  l.) 

^jifej- Jkphcot,  d.r. 

Jephcot.  Is  there  anything  I  can  get  you,  sir  ? 

Bowlby.  No,  thanks,  Jephcot,  I  shall  be  going  to  bed 
soon. 

Jephcot.  {aiter  a  pause)   Mr.    John (Bowlby  turns} 

I  beg  pardon — Sir. 

Bowlby.   "  Mr.  John  "  takes  me  back,  Jephcot. 

Jephcot.  It  slips  out  sometimes,  sir. 

Bowlby.  Naturally  ;  after — how  long  is  it  1 

Jephcot.  Thirty-two  years,  sir. 

Bowlby.  Is  it,  by  Jove  ! 

JsyHcoT.  Yes,  sir.  I  lived  seven  and  twenty  with  your 
father,  and  going  on  five  with  you.  And  that's  what  I  was 
about  to  say.  I'm  not  as  young  as  I  was,  sir.  I'm  getting 
a  bit  old,  and  my  joints  are  beginning  to  find  me  out. 

Bowlby.  Look  here,  Jephcot,  you're  not  going  to  give, 
ine  notice  ? 

Jephcot.  I'm  afraid  I  must,  sir. 

Bowlby.  I'm  sorry  to  hear  it. 

Jephcot.  And  I'm  sorry  to  do  it. 

Bowlby.   But — your  age.     la  it  only  that  1 

Jephcot.  It's  partly  that,  sir. 

Bowlby.  Well? 

Jephcot.   You'll  forgive  me  speaking  plainly,  sir  ? 

Bowlby.  Of  course.     Goon,  {sits  on  chidr  l.) 

Jephcot.  You  see,  Mr.  John,  I'm  what  you  may  call  old- 
fashioned,  in  a  manner  of  speaking.  I'm  used  to  old  ways, 
and  I  can't  drop  into  new  ones,  and — no  fault  of  yours,  sir, 
of  course — but  your  marriage  has  altogether  upset  me. 

Bowlby.  {tukinj  ci(jar  case  from  poclxi)  And  so  you  want 
to  give  notice  ? 

Jephcot.  Yes,  sir.  {ijops  to  tabln  r.c.  for  viatcli-hoj-) 

Bowlby.  {to  himself)  I  wish  /  could,  {to  Jephcot)  I  sliai*' 


A  COUNTRY   MOUSE.  21 

V. 

miss  you  ;  I   shall   miss   you    terribly.     You're  one  of  my 
earliest  recollections.     Upon  my  soul,  you  know,  you're  one 
of  the  family,  and  it  will  be  like  losing  a  relation. 
pajEPHCOT.  {gives   match-box  to  Bowlby)    I   shall  feel   the 

rting  too,  sir, 

Bowlby.  Then  why  go  ?  (strikes  match  and  liglds  }\is  cigar), 

Jephcot.  With  all  respect,  Mr.  John,  I'm  afraid  for  my 
feferences.  The  house  ain't  what  it  was  since  her  ladyship 
rame.  You  still  says  grace  before  meat,  but  we've  dropped 
camily  prayers,  and  we  play  the  piano  and  ping-pong  on 
Sundays.  I've  endeavoured  to  live  respectable  all  my  life, 
and,  with  your  permission,  sir,  I  should  like  to  make  a 
respectable  end. 

Bowlby.  Don't  you  think  you  might  put  up  with  it  a 
little  longer  ?     I've  got  to  put  up  with  a  good  deal  altogether. 

•Jephcot.  I  know  you  have,  sir. 

Bowlby.  Somehow,  I  don't  see  many  of  my  old  friends 
now.  And  if  you  go  I  shall  hardly  have  a  creature  to  speak 
to.     Come,  Jephcot — a  little  longer  ;  try  it  a  little  longer. 

Jephcot.  (pame)  Very  well,  Mr.  John.     I  will. 

Bowlby.  Ah  !  That's  right,  (takes  cigar  from  case)  Take 
a  cigar,  Jephcot. 

Jephcot.  Oh,  no,  sir,  excuse  me. 

Bowlby.  Nonsense,  man.  (giving  him  cigar)  Take  it. 
(Jephcot  takes  cigar)  Why,  Jephcot,  it  was  you  who  caught 
me  smoking  my  tirst  cigar.     Do  you  remember  ? 

Jephcot.  Like  as  if  it  was  yesterday. 

Bowlby.  And  you  told  ray  father. 

Jephcot.  I  did,  sir. 

Bowlby.   And  he  gave  me  a  thrashing. 

Jephcot.  .\h,  those  were  happy  days,  sir.  (Bowlby 
reaches  for  chair  behind  him  and  places  it  R.  of  Ids  oivn) 

Bowlby.  (pointing  to  chair)  Sit  down,  Jephcot. 

Jephcot.  Keally,  Mr.  John,  I 

Bowlby.  Sit  down. 

Jephcot.  You're  very  good,  sir.  (sits  r.  of  Bowlby) 

Bowlby.  I  shan't  go  to  bed  for  half  an  hour,  so  we'll  have 
a  nice  cozy  chat  over  old  friends  and  old  times,  (taking  ^q> 
match-box)  You  want  a  light.     Oh,  I  used  the  last  match. 

Jephcot.  (about  to  rise)  I'll  go  and 

Bowlby.  No.  Here  you  are.  (knocks  off  the  ash  of  his 
cigar  against  the  heel  of  his  boot,  and  hulls  cigar  toioards 
Jephcot)  Take  a  light  from  mine. 

Jephcot   lights  Ids  ci^ar   at   Bowlby's  as   tlie  curtain 
slowly  falls. 

Act  Drop. 


ACT    II 

A  Prettily  Furnished  MoRMNr;  Room. 


Fireplace 


0 


-:o 


J 


1.3 

Ov 


^0 


■o 


N_^ 


jooa 


ACT  II. 

Time. — The  folloicing  morning. 

ScE>'E. — DrciKinij-room  at  Mr.  Aynsley's,  Rexham-gardens 
Kensington. 

Violet  Aynslev  discovered  seeded  at  writing-tedAe   L., 
loolcing  over  typewritten,  letter. 

Violet,  (reading  letter)  "  And  so  I  feel  I  can't  go  to  bed 
till  I  have  wi-itten  you  a  line,  darling  ;  for  I  am  wakeful 
to-night,  and  the  click  of  the  typewriter  has  a  soothing 
effect  and  will  send  me  to  sleep,  when  I  shall  dream  of  you 
and  of  our  future  with  its  delightful  uncertainty.  Did  I  tell 
you  I  had  a  horrible  nightmare  the  other  night?  I  dreamt 
your  husband  was  dead  and  that  you  were  what  the  world 
calls  free.  Ah,  dearest,  that  is  not  the  sort  of  freedom  you 
and  I  desire,  is  it  1  No,  no.  If  you  were,  unhappily,  single, 
the  blossom  of  our  love  would  indubitably  perish  ;  unless, 
indeed,  I  were  to  marry  someone  else.  But  there,  I  am 
becoming  sentimental  ;  so  one  more  whisky  and  soda  and 
then  good-night."  (site  folds  letter)  Dear  old  Bob  !  What 
romantic  ideas  he  has  about  marriage.  I  wonder  if  I  am  the 
only  recipient  of  these — fervid  epistles  '<     If  that  typewriting 

machine  of  his  could  speak Hem  !     Yes — there  might 

be  a  good  deal  of   amusement  combined  with  considerable 
instruction  in  the  love  letters  of  a  typewriter. 

Angela  Mdir  appears  on  the  balcony  c.  from  L.  ;    sliei 
carrying  a  croquet  'mallet. 

Axgela    Nobody  put  in  an  appea'-ance  yet  1 

Violet.  No,  not  yet.  (busies  herself  folding  notes,  addressing 
envelopes,  etc.,  all  through  the  following  dialogue) 

Angela,  (coming  down  stage)  I  wish  they'd  come.  I'm 
tired  of  knocking  the  balls  about  by  myself,  and  I'm  in  great 
form  this  morning. 

Violet,  (smiling)  It  strikes  me  you  were  in  great  form 
last  night. 

Angela.  Last  night  ? 

Violet.  You  amused  the  Duke  awfully. 


24  A  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Angela,  (wonderingly)  Did  I  ? 

Violet.  And  Mr.  Vyse,  too. 

Angela.  Fancy  !  I'm  sure  they  were  wonderfully  good- 
natured.  They  both  offered  to  drive  me  home  in  a  hansom,, 
and  they  got  quite  animated  about  it.  Oh,  they  were  set' 
merry,  and  made  such  fun  of  each  other.  Mr.  Vyse  said 
"  Goat  !  "  and  the  Duke  said  "  Lamb  !  "  At,  least  it  sounded 
like  lamb. 

Violet,  (smilituj)  You  dear  pet  !  Well,  Mr.  Vyse  won,, 
didn't  he? 

Angela.   Won  ? 

Violet.  It  was  he  who  drove  you  home. 

Angela.  Yes.  We  had  rather  an  eventful  drive.  The 
horse  was  a  little  fresh  ;  and  Mr.  Vyse  said  the  cabman  was, 
too.  I  was  rather  nervous  at  times,  but  he  held  me  quite 
firmly  and  said  if  it  came  to  the  worst  we  would  die  in  eacli. 
other's  arms. 

Violet.  How  romantic  !     One  last  fond  embrace  ! 

Angela.  No — that  was  on  the  doorstep,  (goes  a  little  to  K.)i 

Violet.  What ! 

Angela,  (turiiing)  It  was  quite  accidental  on  wy  part. 
He  said  "  Oh,  look  at  the  moon  !  "  And  I  looked  up — and 
he  kissed  me. 

Violet,  {laughing)  Oh!  Oh!  Angela! 

Angela.  I  told  him,  dear —  (going  to  Violet)  I  told  him. 
I  only  kissed  my  relati(nis  in  the  country,  but  he  said  it  was 
quite  usual  in  London  where  people  were  more  friendly. 

Violet.  You're  a  dear,  sweet  little  goose.  I  wonder  if 
you  are  able  to  take  care  of  yourself  ? 

Angela,  {going  it.)  There's  no  necessity  while  everyone 
looks  after  me  as  they  do. 

Violet.  Do  you  know  that  you're  making  someone  fright- 
fully jealous. 

Angela.  Jealous  !  {jiutc  mallet  on  conch  r.c.) 

Violet.  Yes. 

Angela.  Oh.  Violet  !  Are  you — are  you  in  love  with  Mr. 
Vyse  ?  (sits  on  conch  K.c.) 

Violet,  {l(inghi}ig)  Oh  dear,  no  ! 

Angela.  Then  whom  do  you  mean? 

Violet.  Sylvia. 

Angela.  Lady  Sylvia  !     But  s/ie  couldn't  be  jealous  of  me  1 

Violet.  Why  not  ? 

Angela.  Because  she's  married. 

Violet.  Yes,  but  not  to  Mr.  Vy^e.  (rises  and  goes  vpi,.c.y 
Mr.  Bowlby  is  a  very  nice  man,  and,  I  believe,  an  e.'ccellent 
brewtr  ;  but — well,  it  was  not  a  love  match  on  her  side. 

Angela,   (rising  and  <jOing  to  her)  Then  why  did  the 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  2ji 

Violet.  Marry  him  ?  (sits  i)i,  arm  cJiair  l.c,  Angel.\  -s.Ys 
oil  arm  of  the  chair)  The  Duke  owed  Mr.  Bowlby  money, 
and  induced  Sylvia  to  accept  him  as  a  settlement  in  full. 
You  see,  when  a  parent  is  in  difficulties  a  daughter  is  very 
often  a  valuable  asset.  There  were  the  Bassinghams,  for- 
instance.  Poor  Lord  Charlie  and  his  wife  were  in 
desperately  low  water,  so  what  did  they  do  1  They  went, 
carefully  through  the  commercial  directory,  made  a  selec- 
tion of  probable  buyers,  and  disposed  of  their  tive  girls  to- 
such  advantage  that  they  are  now  quite  happy  and  comfort- 
able. 

AxoELA.  This  is  all  very  new  and  strange. 

Violet.  Oh,  people  in  our  set  have  realised  for  some  time- 
that  daughters  are  exceedingly  profitable.  So  muoh  so,  that 
nowadays  it's  becoming  quite  fashionable  to  have  large^ 
families  of  girl». 

Angela.  Well,  this  certainly  opens  up  a  promising  vista 
to  us  poor  things.  The  Duke  was  speaking  to  me  last  night 
about  ray  future,  {i  ises)  He  is  very  much  interested  in  the 
future  of  young  girls,  and  he  asked  me  to  come  to  him  when- 
ever I  was  in  doubt  or  difficulty. 

Violet,  (sarcastically)  That  was  very  sweet  of  him. 

Angela.  Yes,  wasn't  it?  {goes  vp  c.)  He  said  the  employ- 
ment of  unmarried  women  was  becoming  a  very  grave- 
question,  and  he  seriously  thought  we  should  have  to  i evert 
to  the  days  of  King  Solomon,  (exit  on  halcony  c.  to  L.) 

Violet.  Humph  1  I'm  beginning  to  entertain  d(.)ubts,  my 
dear  young  friend,  as  to  the  absolute  genuineness  of  your- 
beautiful  simplicity. 

Enter  Manservant  d.p.,  fi>Vov:ed  by  the  Duke  of  St.. 

KiTTS, 

Servant.  His  Grace  the  Duke  of  St.  Kitts.  (exit ;  Violet- 
rises  and  meets  the  Duke,  c.) 

Duke.   Good  morning  I    Good  morning  I     Not  late,  am  I  ?" 

Violet.  (s}iakiii(i  fiands)  No,  you're  in  capital  time.  Mr^ 
Vyse  hasn't  arrived  yet. 

Duke    Vyse  !  Is  he  coming  ? 

Violet.  Yes. 

Duke.  I  can't  stand  that  man.     Why  did  you  ask  him  ? 

Violet.  I  didn't.  It  was  my  cousin — Argela  (he  vtters: 
an  ejaculation  of  disgust)  You  see,  you  c/u  want  two  couples 
for  a  proper  game,  don't  you  ?  And  I  fancy  she  thought 
Mr.  Vyse  would  be  useful  to  pair  off  with  me.  (she  goes  to- 
writing  tahle  L.,  and  sta)ids  vliile  putting  letter  in  envelope) 

DuKK.  (taken  in  by  her)  Ah  I  Yes,  yes  !  I  see.  Quite  so. 
Miss  Muir  is  such  a  .sweet,  ingenuous  little  thing  ;  it  wou'd 


26  A  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

'be  a  thousand  pities  if  she  were  to  get  into  the  wrong  hands. 
And  with  so  m;uiy  unscrupuLnis  men  about.  I  don't  want 
to  run  down  my  own  sex — but  htok  at  Vyse. 

Violet,  (irith  feUjucd  apprehension,  (joinrj  to  him)  You 
don't  mean  that  Ite  is 

Duke.  A  bad  lot.     A  very  bad  lot. 

Violet.  Dear,  dear  ! 

Duke.  No  principle — no  conscipnce  where  women  are 
concerned.  No,  don't  be  afraid.  I  won't  enlarge.  Now, 
dear  little  Angela — I  must  call  her  Angela. 

Violet.  I'm  sure  she  would  like  it.  (goes  hack  to  rcritinij 
hthle) 

DvKE.  She's  just  the  kind  of  unsuspecting  girl  to  be  taken 
in  by  a  specious  rascal  like  Vyse. 

Violet.  I'm  afraid  she  needs  guiding. 

Duke.  She  does,  begad  ! 

Violet.  What  the  jtoor  child  wants  is  the  advice  and 
counsel  of  some  good,  kind,  motherly  old  soul  who — (goes  to 
Jiim)  you  must  talk  to  her. 

Duke,  (qnidiy)  What! 

Violet.  I  mean  as  we  have  not  got  a  nice  old  lady  we 
must  do  the  best  Ave  can  with  yon. 

DcKE.  Oh  I — ah  I  — yes.  {looking  round  room)  I  say  ! 
Have  anj' — any  flowers  come  this  morning  ? 

Violet.  Flowers  ?  (goes  hack  to  loriting  table,  sits  and 
ixddresses  envehpe) 

Duke.  Yes.  I  ordered  some  to  be  sent  round  from  the 
■florist's. 

Violet.  Tliat's  very  nice  of  you.  No  ;  they've  not  come 
^et. 

Duke.  I  suppose  she's  fond  of  flowers  ? 

Violet.  She  ? 

Dt  K£.  Miss  Muir. 

Violet.  Oh — oh — I  thought  you  meant  they  were  for 
me. 

Duke.  You  ?  Oh,  no,  no,  (cJmckles)  certainly  not.  (sits 
on  courh  R.c.)  I  always  play  the  game.  I  should  never  think 
of  poaching  on  Wyckham's  preserves. 

Violet,  {icifh preteadcd  coldness  ;  rising)  Hadn't  we  better 
.^o  and  join  Angela  in  the  garden  ?  (goes  up  c.) 

Duke,  (rises)  By  all  means.  But,  I  say— you  and 
Wyckham — ha,  ha  !  Sylvia  told  me  last  night  to  call  you 
Mrs.  Aynsley  before  him  ;  and  I  guessed  why.  Very  clever, 
very  smart  !     Ha,  ha  ! 

Violet.  Can  I  trust  you  to  say  nothing  ?  May  I  hope 
jou  will  ci  ntinue  to— p\ny  the  game  1 

Duke.     To  be  sure,    (they  go  up  stage)  But  I've  seen  for 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  Z? 

some  time  what  was  going  on.  Oh,  I  keep  my  eyes  open. 
Yes — and  my  ears  too.  {chuckle-'s)  I  heard  him  last  night  ab. 
the  Empire. 

Violet.  What  did  you  hear  ? 

Duke.  I  and  the  others  had  just  coir.e  out  of  the  box,, 
and  you  and  Wyckham  were  left  behind  for  a  minute. 

Violet.  To  put  on  my  cloak. 

Duke.  Quite  so.  {chuckliiuj)  And  I  then  heard  him  dis>. 
tinctly. 

Violet.  Heard  him  1  J 

Duke,  {chuckliwi)  Oh— ha,  ha  !— I  know  that  sound. 

Violet.  Sound  'I 

Duke.  Yes. 

Violet,  (with  great  dignitu)  You  are  entirely  mistaken. 
He  was  striking  a  match,  (exit  on  balcany  c.  to  l.  fvUoived' 
by  tJie  Duke,  chuckling  and  sliaking  his  head) 

Enter  Servant  d.r.,   showing  in  Vyse.     The  Servant- 
is  carrying  a  basket  of  very  beautiful  flowers. 

Servant,  {announcing  Y\^^)  Mr.  Vyse — (seeing  the  room. 
is  empty)  Oh  I— the  ladies  are  in  the  garden,  sir. 

Vyse.  Are  they  alone  ?  (l.c.  ) 

Servant.  No,  sir.  His  Grace  the  Duke  of  St.  Kitts  is. 
with  them,  (puts  basket  of  flou-ers  on  table  u.  and  goes  up- 
stage) 

Vy.sE.  Has  he  been  here  long  ? 

Servant.  Only  a  few  minutes,  sir. 

Vy.se.  Did  he — (jwints  tofloicers)  bring  those  flowers  with. 
him  ? 

Servant.  Xo,  sir.  They  have  just  come  from  the  florist's.. 
They  are  for  Miss  Muir,  sir.  (exit  on  balcony  c.  to  L.) 

Vyse.  (going  r.)  Humph  !  If  it  isn't  St.  Kitts  who  the 
deuce  can  have  sent  them  to  her  ?  She  doesn't  know  any- 
one. At  least— hardly  anyone,  (jnds  his  hat  on  table  R.)- 
Oh,  here's  a  card,  {looks  at  card  tied  to  handle  of  basl-<:t). 
Damn  it  !  It  is  the  old  beast  !  Now,  why  the  devil  didn't 
I  think  of  sending  some  1 

Enter  Servant,  c. 

Servant.  Will  you  please  to  step  into  the  garden,  sir? 

Vyse.  (musing)  Eh  ?  What  ?  Yes,  all  right  ;  I'll  come 
directly.     You  needn't  wait. 

Servant.  Yes,  sir.  (goes  to  d.r.) 

Vyse.  Here — one  moment.  Does  Miss  Muir  knew  these- 
flowers  have  come  ? 

Servant.  Oh  1  Dear  me,  sir,  I  quite  forgot  to {turning, 

to  go  bad:) 


"SS  A   COUNTRY   MOUSK 

VysB.  No,  no  !     Never  mind. 

Servant.  Sir  ? 

VvsE.  Don't  trouble  about  it.     Til  tell  her. 

Servant.  Oh,  thank  you,  sir.  {exit  d.  r.  ;  Vyse  iakes  a 
■card  from  Jtis  card  case,  takes  the  Duke's  off  the  basket  and 
•sithstitiitcs  his  ou'u) 

Vyse.  There!  (crumpUnfi  up  the  Dvkf.'h  card  and  putting 
it  in  his  trousers  pocket)  Exchange  is  no  robbery,  and  I'm  sure 
mine  looks  very  much  j)rettier. 

Angela,  (outside)  No,  no  !  1  won't  let  you  fetch  it. 
(Vyse  qnickUj  picks  tip  Angela's  mullet  from  couch,  and  comes 
doirii  R.) 

Duke,  (outside)  Very  well,  then  ;  we'll  fetch  it  together. 

Enter  Angela  and  the  Duke,  c.  from  l. 

Angela.  But  I'm  giving  you  so  much  trouble. 

Vyse.  {tnrninxj  and  handing  croquet  mallet  to  Angela)  la 
"ths  what  you  are  looking  for?  (r.) 

Angela.  Oh,  Mr.  Vyse  !  Thank  you,  yes.  {takes  mallet) 
We've  been  waiting  for  you  to  begin  a  game.  (B.C.) 

Duke,  (to  Vyse)  You're  to  be  Miss  Aynsley's  partner. 
(coming  doicn  L.c.)  She's  far  and  away  the  best  player,  so  we 
Handicap  her  by  giving  her  yo^i. 

Angela,  (to  Duke)  But  I'm  sure  you  are  a  capital  player 
yourself. 

Duke,  (pleased)  Well 

Vyse.  He  ought  to  be.     He's  had  a  lot  of  practice. 

Duke.  Not  lately. 

Vyse.  No,  I  mean  all  those  years  before  I  was  born,  (goes 
^doivn  R.) 

The  Duke  glares  at  Vyse. 

Angela.  Oh  I  oh  !  what  lovely  flowers  !  (goes  to  table  R.) 

Duke.  Ah  !  Whom  are  tliey  intended  for,  I  wonder  ? 

Angela.  For  Violet,  I  suppose. 

Vyse.  For  Miss  Muir,  the  servant  said. 

Angel.'V.  (looking  at  flowers)  For  me  ! 

Duke,  (chuckling  to  himself)  Sont  by  some  admirer,  I 
imagine. 

Vyse.  That  goes  without  saying. 

Angela.  But  who — who  can  it  be  ?  (takes  up  basket) 

Duke.  Have  you  no  idea?  (l.c.) 

Vyse.  (carnestlu)  Can't  you  guess  ? 

Angela.  No.  I  (putting  her  nose  to  the  flowers  and  coming 
■down  c.)  Oh,  how  delicious  !  How  perfectly  exquisite ! 
^Vho  could  have  sent  them  ?     I  wish  I  knew. 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  29 

DuKJE.  Isn't  tliere  a — card  somewhere  ?  There's  generally 
a  card. 

ANGELA,  (seeinri  card)   Oh — of  course — yes.     Here  it  is. 

Vyse.  And — whose  is  it  ? 

Duke.  {chucMing)  Show  it  him.  Ha,  ha  !  {'jocs  l.)  Show 
him  the  card,  (ttirns  iip  stage,  rubbing  his  hands  and  churl.ling) 

Angela,  {to  Vyse)  Yours  !     Oh,  how  very  good  of  you  ! 

Duke,  (turning)  Not  at  all  !     Not  at  all  ! 

Akgela.  Oh,  but  it  is. 

VysE.  Then  it  was  a  happy  thought. 

Angela,  (smelling  fl(nrers)  It's  really  awfully  sweet  of 
.you.  (goes  iip  c,  loul:s  off  to  L.,  and  holds  up  basket)  Violet  ! 
Vif'let !     Look,  dear  ! 

Duke,  (goes  to  Vyse  r.)  I  heard  her  say  last  night  she  was 
fond  of  flowers.  And  the  first  thing  this  morning,  you  see 
— the  early  bird,  Vyse — the  early  bird  !  (sits  on  couch  k.c. 
■and  laiighs) 

Vyse.  "You  seem  very  fit  this  morning,  (sits  R.  of  Dukk 
■on  couch  R.c.) 

Duke.  lam.     Never  fitter,  (laughs  imrnoderatelg) 

Angela,  (going  to  table  r.  ^vith  basket)  I  must  put  you  in 
water  soon.  Oh,  you  darlings  I  (the  men  jumj)  np  ipuckhj  as 
if  she  meant  them  ;  tlie  Duke  goes  up  c.) 

Duke,  (aside)  A  deuced  lucky  thought  of  mine,  by  Jove  ! 
Poor  Vyse  !  Ha,  ha  !  Poor  Vyse  !  (exit  c.  to  L.,  chuckling 
to  liimself) 

Angela.  I  wonder  I  didn't  notice  your  card  at  first. 

Vyse.  (going  up  to  r.  of  table)  I'm  glad  I  thought  of 
putting  it  there.  Between  ourselves — if  it  hadn't  been  for 
that,  the  Duke  is  quite  capable  of  pretending  that  he  sent 
them. 

Angela.  Oh,  but  not  really  ! 

Vyse.  Ah,  you  don't  know  him.  What  is  he  doing  here 
Jiow  at  this  unearthly  hour  ? 

Angela.  Why,  it's  paat  twelve. 

Vyse.  And  he  never  gets  up  before  two. 

Angela.  Then  he  must  be  very  fond  of  croquet  to  come 
«o  early  to-day.  {puts  afloiver  in  his  button-hole) 

Vy.se.  Ah  !  your  wonderful  simplicity  and  absolute 
ignorance  of  the  world  are  so  beautiful,  that  it  makes  me 
look  back  on  my  past  life  with  positive  hatred. 

Angela.  Are  you  what  they  call  a  person  with  a  past  ? 

Vyse.  Why,  what  do  you  know  o    a  person  with  a 

Angela.  Nothing.  Only  I  seem  ^  ,  have  heard  the  phrase 
somewhere,  (they  go  c.) 

Vyse.  If  I  had  only  known  you  five  years  ago  I  should 
have  been  another  man. 


80  A  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Angela.  But  then  I  shouldn't  have  had  the  present  satis- 
faction of  feeli'itr  that  I  am  helping  you  now.  ('jucs  to  arm 
chair  L.c.)         > 

Vyse.  Helpnig  me  !  Yes — to  start  afre.'jb  ■  o  lead  a  ne^v 
life. 

Angela.  Do  you  think  you  can  manage  it  all  by  yourself  I 
{sits  in  arm-chair  h  c.) 

Yyse.  {ijoimj  to  her)  No— with  someone  beside  me.  Sine© 
I've  met  you  all  my  old  friends  are  distasteful  to  me.  I  see 
their  hollowness,  the  utter  emptiness  of  their  frivolous 
lives. 

Angela,  {rises)  I  may  be  frivolous,  but  I  don't  think  Vnx 
hollow.     At  least,  I  hope  I'm  not  hollow.   {lool;s  iip  at  him) 

Yyse.  You  !     My  dear  child,    my {putting   his  arm 

round  her  and  about  to  kiss  Jier) 

Angela.  No — please.  We  are  not  in  a  hansom  now. 
crosses  R. ,  he  catches  her  hand  to  detain  her) 

Violet,  {oiitside)  Angela  !     Angela  ! 

Angela,  {disengaginrj  herself)  My  cousin!  {calling)  Yesf 
I'm  coming,  Yiolet — coming  I  {goes  n.  for  her  viallet) 

Vyse.  Stop  a  minute. 

Angela.  No,  no.     We  mustn't  Avait. 

Vyse.  One  moment.  What  are  you  going  to  do  ths. 
a''ternoon  ? 

Angela.  Nothing. 

Vyse.  Then  sujipose  you  let  me  give  you  some  tea. 

Angela.  Where  l 

Vyse.  There's  rather  a  nice  little  tea-shop  in  Bond-street.^ 
It's  number  505.  You  can't  miss  it.  You'll  see  the  name 
over  the  Avindow.  "  The  Old  Cup  and  S.iucer,"  It's  really 
a  new  place.     Shall  we  say  half-past  four  1 

Angela.  That  will  suit  me  perfectly.  Have  you  asked; 
many  people  ? 

Vyse.  N— n — no — not  many. 

Angela.  How  shall  I  come  ? 

Vyse.  {takes  Jus  Jiat  from  table  R.)  Drive  down  in  a  han- 
som, and  I'll  meet  you  at  the  door.  By  the  way,  your — 
cousin- — you  know 

Angeia.  Violet?  {np  c.) 

Vyse.  Yes.  There's — there's  no  occasion  to  tell  her- 
where  you're  going. 

Angela.  Isn't  there  1 

Vyse.  No.  You  see,  she  might  think  I  ought  to  have 
asked  her  too.    And  I — I  shouldn't  like  to  hurt  her  feelings. 

Angela.  Oh,  no!  Nor  I.  It's  very  considerate  of  you,, 
and  I  won't  say  a  word  to  her  about  it. 

Vyse.  You  see  the  force  of  it,  don't  you  J 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  81 

Angela.  Oh,  quite  !  But  I  should  never  have  thouffht  of 
it  myself.  I  think  I  shall  always  be  learning  something, 
when  I'm  with  you. 

Vy.se.  You  dear  child  ! 

Enter  Servaxt,  d.r. 

Servant.  Loid  Robert  Wyckham. 

Enter  Wyckham  and  exit  Servant.  Wyckhaji  is  restless^ 
and  absent  in  vm^iner) 

Anoela.  (surprised)  Oh  !     How  d'  you  do,  Lord  Robert  ? 

Vyse.  IIullo,  Bub  ! 

LoRO.  R.  Good  morning,  Miss  Muir.     Ah,  Vyse. 

Anoela.  3Iy  cousin  is  in  the  garden.  We  are  all  going  to 
play  croquet. 

Lord  R.   Will  you  tell  her  I'm  here  1 

Angela.   Won't  j'ou  come  ? 

Lord  R.   Thanks — no— if  j'ou  wouldn't  mind  telling  her, 

Violet,   (outside)  Now  then,  you  two  !     Do  make  hast^. 

Angela.  Violet!  Vi,.let  !  (exit  c.  to  h.,  folloived  hyYvsE)- 
Lord  Robert  Wyckham's  here.     Will  you  come,  dear  ? 

Lord  Robert  rfoes  qnicldy  vp  L.,  puts  luxt  and  stiek  on- 
chair  h.  at  bacl\  and  comes  douii  L.,  pnlJincj  off  hit 
gloves.  Enter  Violet  on  balcony  c.  ;  she  stands  ivatch- 
ing  him  for  a  moment,  iinobserved. 

Violet.  Bub  ! 

Lord  R.  {APciufi  her)  Ah  ! 

Violet.   What's  the  matter  1 

Lord  R.   Matter  ?  (crosses  r.) 

Violet,  (comes  doivn  a  little  c.)  You  were  walking  up  and 
down  like  a  caged  lion. 

Lord  R.  I  feel  like  one.  (crosses  l.) 

Violet.  You  promised  me  you  wouldn't  come  to  the 
house. 

Lord  R.  I  can't  help  that,  (goes  iip  l.) 

Violet.  Fortunately  Mr.  Aynsley  is  not  at  home  to-diy. 
(Lord  Rorert  turns)  Well  !     What  has  happened  I 

Lord  R.  (comes  down  l.c.)  I've  had  an  upset  ;  a  horrible, 
friiihtful  upset. 

Violet.  Jn  a  cab  ?  (r.c.) 

Lord  R.  No,  in  the  club.  I  met  a  man  there  just  now, 
and  we  were  talking  and — well — somehow  or  other  he 
hap})ened  to  mention  Aynsley.  And —  (close  to  her)  what 
do  you  think  he  said  1 

Violet,  (shaking  her  head)  I  haven't  a  notion. 


32  A  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Lord  R.  {intenthj)  He  said  that  your  husband  is  a 
widowei  ! 

Violet.  Is  your  friend  an  Irishman  1 

Lord  R.  Yes.  {aoi's  wp  c.) 

Violet,  {sits  on  couch  r.c.)  I  thouoht  so.  You  see,  while 
I'm  alive  it  would  be  a  little  difficult  for  my  husband  to  be  a 
widower,  wouldn't  it 

1  ORD  R.  Violet  I  {comes  dotm  to  her)  Don't — pray  don't 
trirte  with  me.  IMy  love  for  you  has  beer,  the  one  great 
romance  of  my  life.  No  other  woman — I  mean  married,  of 
course — has  ever  attracted  me  as  you  have.  From  the  first 
moment  I  saw  your  husband^I  loved  you,  for  I  perceived 
at  a  glance  how  impossible  it  was  that  such  an  ordinary  speci- 
men of  conventional  huuiaiiity  could  ever  satisfy  the  heart 
hunger  of  a  woman  like  j'ou.  And  now — now— not  half  an 
hour  ago — I  am  met  with  the  terrible,  crushing  intelligence 
that  you  are  not  married.  Oh,  Violet  !  Violet  !  you  might 
have  spared  me  this,  ('joes  to  c.) 

Violet.  Don't  keep  walking  up  and  down  like  that. 

Lord  R.  {(jocs  vp  a.)  You — you  whom  I  thought  so  open, 
BO  candid,  so  altogetlier  above  deceit. 

^'IOLET.   Do  stup,  for  goodness  sake  ! 

Lord  R.  (comes  don-n  R.c.)  Your  ring — your  wedding 
T  iig.  (2)oints  to  tier  ring)  Was  that  only  a  tricic  to  make  me 
believe  that  you  were  free  to  love  me  ?  (Violet  quicldii  turns 
rout  id  a  ring  on  tier  finger  to  look  like  a  wedding  ring  ;  Loud 
Robert  goes  l.  and  droits  into  cltair  at  writing  table)  The  one 
Avoman  in  all  tlie  world  for  me  :  and  not  married — not  mar- 
ried !  (rests  liis  elboics  on  table  icith  his  face  in  his  liands) 

A^iOLET.  And  you  believe  that  ?  (rises  atid  goes  torcardsliim) 

Lord  R.   (raising  his  head)  What  can  I  believe  1 

Violet.   Anything  you  hear  ;  so  it  seems,  (turtis  up  c.) 

Lord  R.  He  distinctly  told  me  that  Aynsley  was  a 
T/idower. 

Violet,  (turns  sarcasticcdhj)  Indeed  ! 

Lord  R.   Yes. 

A'lOLET.  (comes  down  R.c.)  And  has  it  never  come  within 
the  range  of  your  experience  that  widowers  occasionallij 
marry  agiiii  1 

Lord  iJ.  (rises  riuickly)  Wliat  1  (goes  to  her) 

Violet,  (ti-ilh  assumed  coldness)  I  am  not  in  the  habit  of 
practising  deception,  (crosses  l.) 

Lord  R.  (helietinq  her)  Violet  I  [follows  and  keeps  imce  witli 
her  ;  theij  both  iralk  quicklg) 

Violet.  Yon,    at   least   should   have   known   ine   better. 

CiO>.S-l-.S  R  ) 

Lord  R.  (rei'cntant)  Violet ! 


A  corxTRV  i^rousa  S3 

Violet.  I  am  siirpiised  and  wounded,  (^irosses  L.) 

1  onD  R    But,  Yiulet,  I 

YiOLET.   I  am  deeply  hurt.  Lord  Robert,  (crosses  c.) 

Lord  R.   No,  no  !     Bob — Bob— j-our  own  Bob  ! 

Violet,  (nuth  (jreat  diiinitu)  ^After  this,  it  is  extremely 
gincertain  if  I  shall  ever  fe^l  capable  of  Bobbing  you  again. 

Lord  R.   What  a  silly  ass  I've  been  I 

A^'jOLET.   I'm  glad  the  truth  has  come  home  to  you  at  last. 

Lord  R.   But  look  here,  Violet 

Violet.  3Tiss  Jyns —  (qiiickiy  correcting  herself)  ]Mrs. 
Aynsley,  if  you  please,  (sits  on  k.  of  conch  r.c.) 

Lord  R.  I  wish  to  heavtn  I'd  kicked  that  man  down  the 
<;]ah  steps  !  (goes  to  L.  end  of  cov.eh,  pleadingly)  Will  you  listen 
to  me  ?  I'm  sorry — awfull}',  frightfully  sorry.  It  was  the 
sudden  shock  of  the  thing.  You've  heard  of  a  man  being 
tuocked  silly  by  a  blow  1  Well,  that's  what  happened  to  me. 
I  was  completely  knocked  out,  lost  my  senses  for  a  time, 
and  before  I  came  to  myself  I  came  to  yoa  ;  and  then  I 
talked — well,  you  know  what  I  talked — a  lot  of  rot.  Yes — 
I  know  it  now — it  was  rot — every  word  of  it  ;  but  you'll 
forget  it.  Yes— j'es — forget  all  about  it  ;  and  we'll  be  just 
the  same  as  we  were  before  ;  won't  we — won't  we  ? 

Violet.  I  wonder—  if  you  are  really  to  be  trusted  i 

Lord  R.  I  haven't  a  doubt  of  it. 

Violet.  You  are  truly  sorry  ? 

Lord  R.  Horribly  sorry. 

YioLET.   Humbly  repentant  ? 

Lord  R.   Grovellingly  repentant. 

A''ioLET.  And  you'll  be  a  good  boy  and  never  do  it  again  1 

Lord  R.  Never. 

A'^ioLET.  Then  I  think  I'll  give  you  another  trial. 

Lord  R.  (in  his  ordinary  tone)  Thanks.  I  knew  you 
■would,  (sits  beside  her  on  conch) 

Violet,  (laughing)  You  wretch  1 

Lord  R.  You  must  admit  it  was  a  bit  of  a  facer  to  be 
;6uddenly  told  there  was  no  husband  in  the  case. 

Violet.  Poor,  dear  man. 

Lord  R.  Well — you  say  your  husband  is  not  at  home,  eh  ? 

Violet.  jNIy  husband  is  never  at  home. 

Lord  R.  Never  at  home  I  And  this  is  the  man  who 
expects  to  monopolise  you  !     This  is  the  husband  who 

Violet.  Don't  you  think  we  might  leave  my  husband 
alone — for  once  ?  (rises  and  goes  round  K.  of  couch  and  up  a 
little) 

Lord  R.  Oh,  if  we  could  only  leave  him  alone  for  always. 
Can't  you  see  how  dishonourable,  how  wrong  it  is  to  stay 
>with  a  man  you  don't  love  ? 


Si  A    COUNTRY    MOUSE. 

ViOLKT.  ((15  if  cmis kit' ring  the  question)  When  I  can  go- 
awHy  \vitli  a  man  I  do.   (lea)is  over  back  of  couch) 

LoED  11.  Ah,  what  a  dream  it  would  be  !  What  a  perfectly 
exfjuisite  dream.  You  and  I  together  ;  far  away  frora 
everything  and  cverybodj'. 

Violet.  Living  entirely  for  ourselves. 

Lord  R.   Completely  wrapped  up  in  each  other, 

Violet.   Thinking  of  no  one  else. 

Lord  R.   Letting  the  world  go  hang. 

Violet.  Totally  oblivious  of  other  people. 

LoKD  R.   Not  caring  a  dump  for  a  soul. 

Violet.   .Absolutely  unselfish . 

Lord  .R.  Ah!  it's  a  glorious  world  if  we  only  make  th©- 
best  of  it  and  think  solely  of  our  own  happiness.  If  people 
lived  more  for  themselves  they  wouldn't  be  so  ready  to  inter- 
fere in  their  neighbour's  concerns 

Violet.  What  a  charming  mind  you  have.  You  look  at' 
everything  in  such  a  beautiful  light. 

Loud  R.  (tahcs  her  hand  irhich  rests  on  bach  of  couch)  I  see 
everything  in  the  light  of  your  eyes,  (rises)  Ah  !  my  dearest 
— my  own (about  to  embrace  her) 

Violet,   (drairing  back)  No,  no  ! 

Lord  R.   Why  not  ? 

Violet,  (alancing  at  icindoics)  Not  now.   (qoes  up  c.) 

Lord  R.  Well — look  here,  ((joes  iip  l.  for  his  hat  and  stick)- 
Come  and  have  some  tea  this  afternoon. 

Violet.  At  the  old  place  1 

Lord  R.  No — I  forgot  to  tell  you.  I've  discovered  a  new 
tea-shop  in  Bond-street.  It's  only  just  opened,  and  they 
keep  it  dark. 

Violet.  Keep  it  dark  ?  (r.c.) 

Lord  R.  The  room,  I  mean.  There's  only  a  dim  religious 
light  ;  and  I  spotted  one  particular  corner  where  your 
dearest  enemy  couldn't  recognise  you.  505  is  the  numiier. 
By  the  way — Vyse  lives  over  the  shop.  He's  got  the  flatr 
above  it.  (crosses  R.) 

Violet.  Supposing  he  saw  us  ! 

Lord  R.  Men  never  see  one  under  these  circumstances^ 
You'll  come  ? 

Violet.  Y''ou  don't  deserve  it. 

Lord  R.  No.  That's  all  right,  (goes  to  d.r.  and  stops)- 
Half-past  four? 

Violet.  ]f  I  come. 

Lord  R.  Y'es,  quite  so.  Of  course.  Do  you  know— all 
the  way  home  la&t  night  I  thought  of  that  embrace  in  the 
box.  And  when  I  took  off  my  overcoat  I  kissed  it  on  th* 
shoulder. 


A    COUNTRY   MOUSE.  35 

Violet.   Why  ? 

Loi;i>  R.  (e((rnesfhi)  Because  there  was  a  little  white  patch 
hei  e  where  jour  cheek  had  rested,  {exit  d.k.) 

The  Duke  and  Yyse  are  heard  in  altercation  outside. 

Dike,  (ovtsidc)  No,  no.     Oh  dear,  no  ! 
YvsE.  {ontside)  Tliat  was  the  game. 
Dike,   {(nitside)  Nothing  of  the  sort  ! 
Vyse.  (outaide)  I  say  it  was  ! 
Dike,  (outside)  You  can  say  what  you  like  ! 

TJie  Duke  and  Yyse  appati  on  balcony  n-ith  their  crocptet 
mallets  ;  they  are  greatly  excited. 

Vyse.  You  should  haYe  left  my  ball  a^.one,  and  gone  for 
your  hoop. 

They  cniir  from  h(dcony, 

Duke.   I  say  it  wasn't  the  game. 

Vyse.  That's  all  you  know  about  it. 

Duke.  Look  here.     You  can't  teach  me  croquet. 

Vyse.  I  know  that. 

Angela  Muir  appears  on  balcony. 

Ddke.  I  appeal  to  Miss  Muir  {the  three  come  down  a  few 
■j:aces  :  Yyse  r.c,  Angela  c,  the  Duke  l.c,  Yiolp;t  is  dovm 
I-.)  Now,  JNIiss  Muir  {pointing  n-ith  his  mallet  to  thejloor)  my 
ball  was  here,  and  his  was  here,   and  the  hoop  was  there, 

jmd  I  naturally (Yyse  <joes  beltind  couch  R.c,  and  leans 

o(jaiust  back  of  it  rcitli  liis  back  to  the  audience) 

A>'GELA.  I'm  afraid  I  wasn't  looking  at  the  moment. 
(<joes  R.  and  leans  against  back  of  coucJt,  r.c.  cmd  R.  of  Vyse) 

Yyse.  Of  course  not.  One  gets  tired  of  watching  a  man 
Covering  over  a  simple  stroke  for  ten  minutes. 

Duke,  {incensed)  Simple  stroke  !  {to  Violet)  listen  to 
']  im.  I  assure  you  he  missed  three  absolutely  chUdish  shots. 
»;iriiple  .stroke  I  Why,  I'd  give  him  points  any  day  and 
jlay  his  head  off.  Simple  str<  ke  !  {aside  to  Violet)  I  do 
tliink  that  man  is  the  most  conceited  jackass  I  ever  met. 
(m/cs  vp  L.c.  H-ilJi  Violet) 

Vy.se.  {aside  to  Angela)  Poor  old  St.  Kitts.  Queer  old 
cLap,  isn't  he  ? 

Angela.  Well — he's  not  quite  my  conception  of  a  Duke. 
I  mean  he's  not  like  those  in  the  "Family  Herald." 

.filter  Lo;u)  Robert  d.r.  ;   l^e  gees  c,  and  then  up  to  Vyse. 

X.ORD  R.  I  say,  Vyse,  old  chap. 


86  A   COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Vyse.   Yes? 

Lord  R.  Shall  you  be  at  home  this  afternoon  about  half 
rn^t  four  ? 

Vyse.  (fpiickly)  No — no,  I  shan't.  I  shall  be  out  alt 
day. 

Lord  R.  Oh,  never  mind,  (aside)  That's  all  right,  (c'jines' 
down  L.C.,  and  looks  ai  Violet  to  attract  her  attention) 

Vyse.  {aside  to  Angela)  I  shall  be  very  much  better 
engaged,  shan't  I  ? 

Angela.  But  you  mustn't  throw  over  other  people  f.ir  me. 

Violet  comes  down  l.  of  Lord  Robert  ;  the  Duke  (joes- 
up  to  ivindoKS  c. 

Vyse.  I'd  throw  over  the  whole  world  for  you. 

Angela.  You're  the  most  unselfish  person  I  ever  met. 

Lord  R.  (aside  to  Violet)  I  came  back  to  ask  Vyse  if  he- 
would  be  in  his  rooms  this  afterno-m.  He  says  he'll  be  out 
all  day.     So  if  the  tea-shop  should  be  very  full 

Violet.  Oh— do  you  think  1  dare  1 

Lord  R.  I  think  so. 

Duke.  Well,  are  we  going  to  play  any  uiore,  or  whit  ?' 
Miss  IMuir,  what  do  you  say  1 

Angela.  Delighted. 

Violet.  Come  along  then,  (goes  itp  c.  Lord  Robeut 
goes  L.) 

Unter  Servant,  d.r. 

Servant.  Lady  Sylvia  Bowlby. 

Enter  Lady  Sylvia  and  exit  Servant. 

Violet.  "What  1     Sylvia  !  (c. ) 

Lady  S.  Good-morning,  everyone,  (looks  at  Vyse  and' 
Angela  ;  then  crosses  to  Violet  and,  shakes  hands)  Quite  an. 
assemblage  !     What  is  it  ? 

Violet.  Croquet.     Will  you  play  ? 

Lady  S.  No,  thanks,  (crosses  l.) 

Violet.  Well,  come  and  look  on.  (goes  a  Utile  vj}  c.  j. 
Angela  comes  doion  r.) 

LAD"i  S.  Presently.  It's  a  little  hot  in  the  sun.  (shakes- 
ha)ids  ivith  Lord  Robert,  l.)  Don't  mind  me.  I'll  follow 
you. 

Lord  R.  There's  no  liurry. 

Lady  S.  No,  no.  Go  on  with  your  game,  or  I  shall  think 
I'm  in  the  way.  (Lord  Robert  joins  Violrt  up  L.c.) 

Duke,  (up  c.)  If  Wyckham  is  going  to  play  we  shall  be  an 
odd  number. 


A   COUNTRY    MOUSE.  37 

LiPY  S.  Yes,  well — ]Mi.s3  ^luir  will  stay  and  talk  to  me, 
I'm  sure. 

Anoela.  Oh  yes.  {rrosses  L.  to  Laby  Sylvia  and  slhil^ef 
hands) 

Duke,  {coming  doicn  C.)  No,  no.  We  can't  spare  JMi.ss 
Miiir. 

Lady  S.  (aside  to  Angela)  I  must  speak  to  you. 

Angela,  (to  the  Duke)  I'd  rather  you  left  me  out  this  timej 
really. 

The  DcKE  [loes  vp  c. 

Violet,  {to  Duke)  You  must  put  up  with  me  as  a  partner. 

Duke.  Good.  We'll  play  the  two  men.  We'll  show  them 
—  walk  away  from  them.  Ha,  ha  !  Poor  Vyse  !  ITa,  ha  \ 
{exit  luith  Violet  c.  to  l.,  folloiced  by  Lokd  R.  ;  Lady  S.  goes 
vpc  ) 

Vyse.  (goes  up  c.  to  Lady  S.)  You're  out  early  this 
morning.  Lady  Sylvia. 

Lady  S.  One  has  to  be  up  very  early — sometimes. 

Vyse  hesitates  as  if  about  to  speak,  then,  after  a  panse^ 
exits  sloivly  c.  to  L. 

Angela,  (crossing  to  rovch  R.c.)  I  have  to  thank  you,  Lady 
Sylvia,  for  such  a  delightful  time  last  evening.  I  enjoyed 
myself  immensely.   {2)nts  mallet  on  conch  r.c.  and  sits) 

Lady' S.  I  saw  you  did,  (siVs  in  arm-chair  L.c.)  and  that 
is  why  I  am  here  this  morning.  I  want  to  speak  to  you, 
and — quite  plainly. 

Angela.  Oh,  thank  you  ! 

Lady  S.  Miss  Miiir,  you  are  very  young. 

Angela.  Not  so  verii  young.     I'm  nearly  nineteen. 

Lady  S.  A  mere  child, 

Angela,  (sireetly)  To  you,  perhaps.  (Angel.v  speaks  in  thi 
most  sweetly  innocent  manner  xchile  Lady  Sylvia  keeps  her 
feelings  itell  binder  restraint) 

Lady  S.  To  anyone. 

Angela.  Of  course  I  do  feel  young,  because  T  look  upon 
girls  of  two  or  three  and  twenty  as  old.  And  after  thirty  — 
well — women,  in  my  eyes,  seem  to  be  quite  ancient  then, 
poor  thiTigs. 

Lad\' S.  Yes.  Well — I  didn't  come  t )  discuss  the  ques- 
tion of  age. 

Angela.  Oh,  I  thought  when  yuu  began  by  saying  I  wa» 
a  more  cliild 

Lady  S.  I  meant  not  in  years  only,  (rises and  goes  to  chair 
R.c.  a  little  above  conch)  Now,  I  wish  you  to  feel  {\iat  I  am 
your  friend — your  true  friend. 


ScS  A   COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Angela.  I  do.     And  it  makes  me  very  happy. 

Lady  S.  {moves  chair  down  a  little  to  L.  of  conch)  It  is  the 
question  of  your  happiness  which  concerns  me  at  the 
present  moment,  and  impels  me  to  spsak  to  you  very 
•seriously. 

Angela,  (iconderingly)  Lady  Sylvia  I  (mores  a  little  on 
■coitch  to  R.) 

Lady  S.  (glances  at  icindoirs,  and  sits  on  chair)  I  want  to 
put  J  ou  on  your  guard,  to  warn  you  against  Mr,  Vyse. 

Angela.   Mt.  Vyse  1  (rises) 

Lady  S.  He  is  not  at  all  a  nice  man  for  you  to  know, 

Angela.  Isn't  he?  (sits  o)i  coiicli) 

Lady  S.  No.     He's  anything  but  a  good  man. 

Angela.  Not  a  good ! 

Lady  S.  In  fact,  he  is  an  extremely  bad  one. 

Angela.  Oh,  but  he's  better  now — much  better.  I  know 
■he  wasn't  formerly  all  he  should  have  been  ;  but  now  he 
looks  back  with  hatred  on  his  past. 

Lady  S.  Absurd  ! 

Angela.  No,  really.  He's  very  sorry  for  himself,  and 
he's  going  to  begin  a  new  life.  1  knew  he  is,  because  he 
told  me  so  himself. 

Lady  S.  And  this  charming  rcsolutiim  of  his  ia  due  to 
your  influence  ?     I  suppose  he  tuld  you  that  ] 

Angela.  I  think  he  did  mention  it. 

Lady  S.  Of  course. 

Angela.  He  says  all  his  old  friends  have  become  dis 
tasteful  to  him.  They're  so  hollow  and  empty.  I  think  he 
must  have  fallen  among  a  very  bad  set  of  people.  Don't 
you  ? 

Lady  S.  You  poor  foolish  child.  And  how  long,  may  I 
ask,  has  he  been  making  love  to  you  ? 

Angela.  Making  love  ? 

Lady  S.  I  presume  you  know  what  making  lovo 
means  ? 

Angela  Oh  yes.  (rises and  crosses  c.)  I've  seen  the  people 
down  at  Dorking  on  Bank  Holidays.  They  change  hats, 
j)ut  their  arms  round  each  other's  necks,  and  sing  at  the  top 
of  their  voices  ;  but  Mr.  Vyse  has  never  even  suggested 
we  should  do  anything  of  that  kind,  (sits  in  arm  chair 
L.c.) 

Laijy  S.  (rises)  Your  simplicity  is  very  refreshing,  but  let- 
me  tell  you  tliat  he  is  behaving  abominably,   (c.) 

Angela.  AVhy— huw  ? 

Lady  S.  Because — while  amusing  himself  with  you,  he  is 
in  love  with  someone  else. 

Angela.  How  can  you  know 


A   COUNTRY    MOUSE.  39 

Lat'T  S.  I  do  tnow,  and  I  pity  you  with  all  my  heart,  (r. 
of  AtidEix)  I  can't  let  this  go  on  and  see  you  made  wretched 
and  niise'-able  if  I  can  help  it  ;  so  do — do  take  my  advice 
and  have  nothing  more  to  say  to  him.  I  shall  feel  I  have 
done  my  duty  and  shall  go  home  w  relieved,  if  you  will 
J  remise  never  to  see  him  again. 

Angela.  Is  this— someone  else — a  friend  of  yours  1 

Lady  S.  I — I  know  her.  {<joes  R.) 

Angela.  But  if  she  doesn't  care  for  him 

Lady  S.  But  she  does,  {r.".) 

Angela.  Then  why  doesn't  he  marry  her  1 

Lady  S.  Because — ah  I  now  you  will  see  what  kind  of 
man  he  is — because  she  is  already  married. 

Angela.  Oh,  how  dreadful  !    (rises) 

Lady  S.  Yes. 

Angela.  How  shocking  I 

Lady'  S.  Yes. 

Angela.  What  a  wicked  woman  she  must  be  ! 

Lady  S.  Slie  !  (doicn  r.) 

Angela,  (l.c  )  Yes.  She  must  be  much  worse  than  he. 
Oh,  I  think  she  must  be  infinitely  worse  ;  don't  you  I  He 
isn't  married,  and  so  he's  not  deceiving  his  wife  ;  but  she  — 
(rh,  what  a  dreadful  person  I  How  awfully  sorry  you  must 
ft  el  for  her  unfortunate  husband  I 

Lady  S.  (controlliini  herself  n-ith  difficiiUy)  At  any  rate,  I 
hope  you  will  show  Mr.  Yyse  that  you  wish  to  have  nothing 
nil  re  to  do  with  him,  and  Violet  must  be  asked  not  to  invite 
him  to  the  house. 

Angela.  But  you  invited  Iiini  to  yours. 

Lady  S.  {tahea  aback)  I — oh — yes— but — I  am  a  married 
wcman. 

Angela.  But,  from  what  you've  told  me,  that  doesn't 
ajipear  to  make  much  difference  to  him. 

Lady  S.  Well,  I've  warned  you,  and  you  must  see  that 
he's  a  man  you  ought  not  to  know. 

Angela.  It's  aw-fuUy  sweet  of  you  to  be  so  anxii.us  on  my 
account. 

Lady  S.  My  on'y  object  was  to  endeavor  to  keep  you  and 
SI: .  Vyse  apart.  ^ 

Ance^a.  Thank  you  so  very  much.  I'm  sure  you  are 
quite  1  ke  a  mother  to  me. 

Lady  S.  I  have  done  my  duty,  that  is  all.  {ijoes  vp  c.) 

Angela.  And  I — I,  dear  Lady  Sylvia,  will  do  //.(/  uucy. 


4»0  A   COUNTRY   xMOUSE. 

Lady  S.   That's  right. 

Angela,  {sits  in  arni-chair  l.c.)  I  see  plainly — oh,  so 
plainly,  that  it  rests  with  me  to  save  Mr.  Vyse. 

Lady  S.  Save  him  ?  (comes  down  c.) 

Angela,  {rising  and  facing  her)  From  that  horrid  woman. 
(going  to  couch  R.c.)  I  will  do  my  best  in  my  poor  little  way 
to  make  him  forget  her.  (sits)  I'll  try  and  persuade  him  to 
come  and  play  croquet  here  every  day  so  that  I  can  see  him 
constantly.  I'll  use  all  the  influence,  which  he  says  I 
possess,  to  work  upon  his  better  nature  ;  and  I  believe — I 
quite  hope  and  believe  I  shall  end  in  effecting  a  complete 
cure. 

Lady  S.  (losing  control)  You  shall  not.  (l.  of  Angela)^ 
You  shall  do  nothing  of  the  kind. 

Angela,   (rises)  But,  Lady  S>1 

Lady  S.  This  simple  innocence  is  very  well  done,  but  it 
doesn't  hoodwink  me.  Yon  influence  him?  Yon  reform 
him  ?  Rubbish  !  (crosses  R.)  You're  in  love  with  him.  Yes, 
you  are  ;  you're  in  love  with  him  and  you  think  you'll  catch 

him. 

Angela.  Really  I 

Lady  S.  But  you  won't.  He's  far  too  clever  for  that.  He- 
might  marry  for  money,  but  never  for  love.  And  as  for 
love — yuu  needn't  flatter  yourself  he  cares  a  snap  of  his 
finger  for  you  ;  for  he  doesn't,  (laughing  cgnically)  Oh  no  ;. 
oh  dear,  no.     Don't  imagine  that  for  an  instant. 

Angela.  You  seem  to  know  him  very  well. 

Lady  S.  I  do. 

Angela.  Almost  as  well  as— that  dreadful  creature,  (c.) 

Lady  S.  What  dc  you  mean?  (pause)  What  do  yoii 
mean  ? 

Angela.  Mean  1 

Lady  S.  What  has  he  told  you? 

Angela.   Why  do  you 

Lady  S.  What  do  you  know  ? 

Angela.  You  mean '? 

Lady  S.  You  know  perfectly  well  what  I  mean. 

Angela.  Do  I? 

Lady  S.  But  it's  not  true.  It's  absolutely  false  !  And 
remember  this— that  not  only  people  who  talk  scandal, 
but  those  who  repeat  it  can  be  punished  in  a  court  of 
law. 

Angela.  But  realiy,  Lady  Sylvia 


A   COUNTRY    MOUSE.  41 

Lady  S.  (going  to  d.r.)  I've  nothing  more  to  say.  I've 
warned  you  ;  and  you'll  be  sorry  for  yourself  when  your  eyes 
are  opened.  You  to  help  him  to  begin  a  new  life  !  A  new- 
life  !  {laughs  cynically)  You  child,  you  baby  !  How 
thoroughly  he  must  enjoy  the  joke  !  {ivith  pretetuled  gravity) 
But  never  mind  that.  Don't  relax,  do  you  duty  ;  and  don't 
— don't  let  anyone  deter  you  from  persevering  in  your  work 
of  reformation,  {exit  D.  k.  laughing  sarcastically  ;  Angela 
goes  to  couch  k.  c,  takes  up  her  mallet,  rests  the  head  of  it  on 
the  couch,  and  stands  leaning  loith  both  hands  on  the  handle 
looking  after  Lady  Sylvia  with  a  quiet  smile) 

Angela.  How  beautifully  she  gave  herself  away. 

-'I  peal  of  laughter  is  heard  fro^n  the  garden. 


Act  Drop. 


ACT    III. 

Smartly  Furnished  Man's  Room. 
The  ladder  in  the  cupboard  is  flat  against  the  bach  wall. 


■Doof 


•^ 


ACT  III. 


Time. — The  same  afteritoon. 

Scene. — Vyse's    chambers  in  Bond-street.      There    is  a  fog- 
outside,  and  the  stage  is  o)ihj  dimly  lighted. 

Enter  Violet  Aynsley,  Lord  Robert  Wyckiiam,  and, 
Mrs.  Cropper,  d.l.  at  bad:. 

Lord  R.  (c.)  How  long  has  Mr.  Vyse  been  gone  1 

Mrs.  C.  (l.c.)  About  a  quarter  of  an  hour,  sir.  But 
■where  'e  went,  and  'ow  hmg  'e'll  be,  and  what  tiuie  'e'U  be> 
home  again  T  don't  know  no  more  than  the  dead. 

Lord  R.  {to  Violet)  We  may  as  well  wait. 

Violet,  (r.)  I  think  .so. 

Lord  R.  (to  Mrs.  Cropper)  \Yhere  is  liis  man  ? 

Mrs.  C.   3Ir.  Carter,  sir  ? 

Lord  R.  Yes,  Carter. 

Mrs.  C.  'E's  out,  too,  sir.  'E  tcid  me  as  'ow  Mr.  Vyse^ 
Baid  'e  didn't  want  'im  for  nothin',  and  'e  could  take  the 
arternoon  to  'isself  ;  so  'e's  gone  off  to  see  'is  young  woman 
what  lives  in  Grosvenor-square—  no,  I'm  tellin'  you  a  story  ;. 
it  ain't  Grosvenor-square,  it's  Grosvenor-place,  'cause  'e 
passed  the  remark  that  'is  young  lady  was  upper  'ousemaid 
along  o'  Sir  Solomon  and  Lady  Jacobs,  what  started  in  life- 
in  the  second  'and  clothes  line,  just  as  you  and  me 
might  'ave  done,  sir,  and  only  shows  the  luck  'as  falls  to 
some  people  ;  for  what  I  will  say  is  this,  you  may  scrub 
and  you  may  rub 

Lord  R.  {trying  to  stop  her)  Yes,  yes. 

Mrs.  C.  You  may  scrub  and  you  may  rub 

Lord  R.  Yes,  quite  so. 

Mrs.  C.  You  may  scrub  and  you  may 

Lord  R,  Look  here.     Are  you  a  gramophone  ? 

Mrs.  C.  No,  sir.  I'm  a  widder.  I  lives  in  the  basement, 
and  cleans  up  the  rooms  and  swills  down  the  stairs  ;  and 
when  you  comes  to  six  flights 

Lord  R.  Do  you  think  you  could  get  us  some  tea  ? 

Mrs.  C.  Tea,  sir  ?       .j 

Violet.  Perhaps  she  doesn't  know  where  the  things  are^ 
kept  { 


44  A   COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Mrs.  C  Oh,  yes,  I  does,  mum.  There  ain't  a  lock-up  in 
the  place.  Mr.  Vyse  leaves  everything  out.  Quits  the 
•gentleman,  'e  is. 

Lord  R.  Yes,  well  we  should  like  some  tea. 

Mrs.  C.  And  I  don't  know  nothin'  more  refreshin'  than  a 
nice  cup  o  tea.  I  always  do  say  when  your  arms  is  achin' 
and  your  back  feels  a'most  broke  in  'alf,  that  a  good  strong 
cup  with  three  lumps  o'  sugar  and  not  too  much  milk  is  a 
necktie  fit  for  the  godses.  (e:i-it  d.l.  at  hack) 

Violet.  That  woman"  positively  takes  one's  breath  cwa)'. 
•Good  gracious  !  how  thick  this  fog  is  getting. 

Lord  R.  Yes.  By  Jove  I  it's  almost  quite  dark.  I  sajj^ — 
it's  just  as  well  that  Carter's  absent.  I  told  you  Vyse 
wouldn't  be  here,  didn't  I  ?  Now  we'll  have  a  ripping 
time,  all  to  ourselves,  {about  to  embrace  Iter) 

Enter  Mrs.  Cropper  d.l.  at  bach. 

Mrs.  C.  Oh,  my  goodness,  the  room  is  full  of  this  blessed 
fog  I  'Ere,  I'll  give  you  some  light,  (switches  011  the  eleclria 
light  )  I  beg  pardon,  but  will  you  take  anything  with  your 
tea  ?  A  boiled  egg,  or  some  bloater-paste,  or 

Violet  sits  r.  of  table  r.c. 

Lord  R.  A  little  bread  and  butter,  cake,  anything 

Mrs.  C.  You'll  excuse  me  asking  you,  tut  what  I  always 
sav  is,  I  don't  'old  with  tea  on  a  empty  stomach,  {exit  d.l.  at 
:back) 

Lord  R.  {sittiiuj  on  bach  of  tabic  R.c.  and  close  to  Violet) 
As  I  was  saying— I  knew  we  should  be  alone  here — we've 
the  whole  afternoon  before  us,  and,  by  Jove,  it's  almost  too 
good  to  be  true  to  feel  I've  gob  you  all  to  myself. 

Violet.  You  silly  old  boy. 

Lord  R.  Ah,   my    dearest    darling.     My   own,   own 

•{about  to  embrace  her) 

Enter  Mrs.  Cropper  :  Lord  Robert  and  Violet  rise. 

Mrs.  C.  I  beg  pardon.  You  must  excuse  me,  sir,  and 
your  good  lady,  too,  but,  as  Mr.  Vyse  is  out;  and  INIr.  Carter 
as  well,  and  me  bein'  in  chai-ge  of  the  premises,  and  respon- 
.sible  like,  it  'ave  just  'api  'n  to  strike  me  that  p'raps  you 
wouldn't  mind  bein'  so  good  as  to  tell  me  who  you  are. 

Lord  R.  {confused)  Quite  so — to  be  sure— I 

Violet,  {crossing  L.)  I  am  Mr.  Vyse's  sister. 

Mrs.  C.  (c.)  Oh,  indeed,  mum. 

Lord  R.   (r.)  Yes,  and  I'm  his  brother. 

Mrs.  C.  Oh,  indeed,  sir.  Well,  I  do  'uuibly  'ope  you'U 
-orgive  me  puitin'  the  question. 


A   COJNTIIY    MOUSE.  45 

Lord  R.    Yes,  yes.  certainly.     You're  quite  right. 

Mrs.  C-  01  course  1  ditln't  think  as  there  was  exactly 
anything  wrong,  and  I  never  thought  you  looked  as  if  you 
wasn't  respectable — cause  you  do  ;  but  one  can't  be  too 
careful  ;  for  mistakes  i;  made  sometimes,  and  there's  a  lot  o 
■queer  people  about    'exit  d.l.  o.t  bad:) 

Lord  R.  {hni<ihiH<j)  His  sister  !  {goes  i,.  io  Violet)  What 
the  dickens  made  you  say  that  1 

ViOLTT.    What  could  I  say  1 

Lord  R.  But  how  you  jumped  at  it. 

Violet.  Because  I  thought  you  were  going  to  give  us 
away.  It's  all  very  well  fur  you,  my  dear  man,  but  if  I'd 
given  her  my  name,  she'd  have  told  Mr.  Vyse  I'd  been  here, 
and  then — don't  you  see.  you  goose  ? 

Lord  R.  Yes,  yes  Sister  was  distinctly  good.  And  I — 
(laughiaei)  I  capped  it  with  brother,  didn't  I?  Dear  old 
Vv^se.     He'll  wonder  who  on  earth  we  were. 

Violet.  I  hope  to  heavens  he  won't  recognise  me  from 
her  descrii  tion. 

Lord  R.  Not  he  ;  I'll  undertake  to  put  him  off  the  scent. 
Now,  now,  my  dear  Violet,  don't  frighten  yourself.  There's 
no  danger,  not  the  least,  I  assure  yuu  It's  perfectly  safe, 
far  safer  tl  an  down  below  in  the  tea-shop,  where  anyone 
might  see  us.  Ah,  my  own  dearest  love,  my —  {about  to 
■embraa.  her) 

Viol:;'j\  {•■etr-iatlnq)  No,  no.  Not  yet.  "Wait  till  she's 
brought  In  the  tea.  {(joes  R.)  He's  got  rather  nice  rooms, 
hasn't  iic  ^ 

Lord  R.   Not  bad.  {nits  in  chair  l. c.  ;  looldng  sulhn) 

Vi0Li:r.  1  like  explorir  g,  don't  you  ?  (pH>7(e.s  open  door  r. 
f^nd  lool:6  \a)  I  suppose  this  is— yes.  A  small  dining-room. 
Very  co.5y  though.  Oh,  I  think  you  men  know  how  to  make 
yourselvc-s  comfy,  (pointing  to  door  L.)  What's  in  there  ? 

Loud  R.  {rises)  Sort  of  box-room,  I  fancy,  {goes  to  d.l.) 

Viol  FT.  (joing  vp  R.)  I'm  bent  on  a  tour  of  inspection 
It's  fuu  Inuking  over  a  man's  rooms  ;  particularly  when  the 
man's  a\;t-iy. 

Loao  K.  [looking  in  at  D.L.)  Portmanteaus  and  hat-boxes  ; 
kf  ],s  hi*",  guns  and  fishing  tackle  here,  too. 

Viui.i;t.  (opening  euvboard  doors  R.  at  bad:)  This  is  only 
a  'Kind  of  landing  with  a  ladder  going  up  somewhere. 

f.uKD  R.  (going  vp  to  Violet)  Leads  through  a  trap  door 
to  fSe  roof,  I  expect.     That's  in  case  of  tire,  you  know 

Violet,  (coming  donn  l.)  What  an  awful  thing  to  be 
■caught  by  fire. 

Lord  R.  (up  stage)  Or — a  hu.sband.  That  ladder  might 
be  useful  in  either  event,   (shrds  cnjiboard  doors] 


46  A  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Violet.  I  wish  you  wouldn't  talk  of  husbands  when  we've 
come  here  to  spend  a  pleasant  afternoon,   {sits  in  chair  l.c.) 

Lord  li.  {comes  down  c.)  We'l,  there's  no  danger  of 
yours  turning;  up. 

Violet.  Not  the  slightest.  What  would,  you  do  if  h& 
did? 

Lord  R.  {poiatinrj  to  cuphoanl)  Make  straight  for  tha 
roof. 

Violet.  You  wretch  !  Do  you  know,  I  can't  imagine 
■why  you're  so  very  much  opposed  to  marriage. 

Lord  R.  {takes  chair  from  l.  of  table  R.c. ,  brings  it  c,  niul 
leans  over  bach  of  it)  Opposed?  Not  at  all.  I  strongly 
advocate  marriage — in  other  people.  The  truth  is,  my  dear 
child,  I'm  excessively  romantic.  There's  a  deep  vein  of 
sentiment  in  my  character,  and  the  ordinary  prosaic  attach- 
ment to  the  conventional  girl  doesn't  appeal  to  me  in  the 
least.  I  know,  because  I've  tried  it.  I  was  once  engaijed 
for  two  days  to  a  charming  creature,  a  sylph,  a  fairy  I  The 
day  after  I  proposed,  I  calle  I  on  her  mother.  She  was — 
well,  not  a  fairy,  and  she  was  fatally  pleased  at  her  daughter's 
engaijement.  Then  two  brothers  and  three  sisters  appeared, 
all  infernally  pleased.  Lastly  the  father  came  in,  and  he 
was  damnably  pleased.  That  settled  it.  The  entire  family 
with  one  accord  sat  on  the  dower  of  my  romance  and  crushed 
it  ;  and  I  left  the  house  never  to  return. 

Violet.  Your  love  had  a  short  life. 

Lord  R.  (places  chair  ii.  0/ Violet  and  sits)  Naturally.  lb 
was  killed  by  the  commonplace.  For  the  existence  of  a. 
really  great  passion  that  is  worthy  of  the  name,  three 
persons  are  necessary — the  husband,  the  Avife,  and  the 
other  one. 

Violet.  But  how  will  it  end  1 

Lord  R.  In  the  usual  way — by  the  survival  of  the  fittest. 
Love  as  a  poetic  dream  is  <Mily  possible  when  ir/s  hemmed  ia 
by  ditiiculties,  attended  with  risks,  and  accompanied  by  the 
charm  of  uncertainty.     Why  are  we  here  to-day  1 

Violet.  We  oughtn't  to  have  come,  {rises  and  crosses  r.) 

Lord  R.  (rises)  Exactly.  That's  why  we're  here,  (puts 
chair  back  at  L.  of  tab'e  R.c.)  What  is  the  toast  and  water  of 
matrimony  compared  with  the  champagne  of  the  stolen 
interview  ?  Ah  !  don't  you  realise,  don't  you  appreciate  the 
ineffalile  attraction  of  our  e()uivocal  position  ? 

Violet.  I — I'm  a  little  bit  afraid  I  do. 

Lord  R.  Of    course  ;    it's   a   natural  instinct.     Ah,    my 

beautiful  sweetheart,  my (about  to  embrace  her,  the  door 

outside  in  the  passage  is  Jieard.  to  slam) 

Violet.  Shush  !  Listen  !  (looking  at  d.l.  at  back) 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE,  47 

Lord  R.  What  ? 

Violet.  I  heard  the  door  ! 

Loud  R.  The  woman. 

Violet,  {ularvied)  No,  no.  A  voice.  A  man's  voice 
{(joinrj  qnicUy  K.)  I  heard  him  distinctly  ! 

Lord  R.  {lisfetunij)  It  can't  be  Vyse.  (runs  to  d.l.  at  hack, 
opens  it  and  i)€eps  out) 

Violet.  Good  gracious,  I  hope  not. 

Lord  R.  (sJiuts  door  softly,  hut  qincliij)  Look  out  I  They're 
coming  up  !  The  dining-room — go  into  the  dining-room. 

Violet,  (half  amjrily)  And  you  told  me  we  should  be  per- 
fectly safe  here. 

Lord  R.  (going  quicJdy  r.)  Never  mind  what  I  told  you. 
Into  the  dining-room. 

Violet  fxi'is  qxdcldy  d.k.  ,  follovred  by  Lord  Robert; 
enter  ANGELA  MuiR  and  Vyse  d.l.  at  bach. 

Angela.  Oh,  so  this  is  the  lad'^s'  tea-room  ?  (comes  dorm 
B.C.  looking  round  room) 

Vyse.  Yes,  this  is  the  ladies'  tea-room,  (jnds  liis  hat  one? 
stick  on  table  r.  of  d.l.  at  hack) 

Angela,  (looking  round  room)  There's  no  one  here  at 
present. 

Vyse.  Isn't  there  ?     No  ;  I  suppose  it's  a  little  early. 

Angela.  I  don't  think  it's  quite  such  a  pretty  room  as  the 
one  downstairs. 

Vyse.  No  ;  but  it's  quieter. 

Angela.  Yes,  it — it  seems  quieter.  Will  your  friends 
know  where  to  find  us  when  they  come  1 

Vyse.  My — my  friends  ?  (comes  down  L.  of  Angela)  Oh, 
I  forgot  — didn't  I  tell  you  ?  They've  all  disappointed  me.  I 
had  three  wires  at  the  last  moment  to  say  they  couldn't 
come, 

Angela,  (c.)  Oh,  how  very  annoying. 

Vyse.  Do  you  mind  ? 

Angela.  I  was  thinking  of  your  disappointment. 

Vyse.  Oh,  I  don't  care  a  snap.  In  fact  I'm  awfully  glad, 
bi.:cause  it  will  be  so  much  jollier  all  by  ourselves. 

Angela.  You  don't  think  I  require  a  chaperone  ? 

Vyse.  Not  at  all. 

Angela.  I  only  asked  because  1  know  nothing  about  these 
things.     You  see  I  live  in  the  country. 

Vyse.  And  you  bring  the  scent  of  the  hay  with  you.  I 
eay,  isn't  this  fog  awful  ?  I'm  afraid  it's  going  to  be  a  regu- 
lar pea-souper,  (goes  up  to  u-indow  L.) 

Angela.  And  in  the  summer,  too.  (sits  L.  of  table  R.c.) 
Do  you  know  I've  never  seen  a  real  London  fog. 


48  A  COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Vyse.  Ah  ;  tlicn  I  expect  this  one  is  on  show  fcr  your 
especial  benefit. 

Enter  MRfi.  Cropper  d.l.  at  bach  ivi(h  tray  containing 
tea-service.  She  comes  sloidy  doivn  l.c,  staring  at 
Angela,  and  crosses  ronnd  r.  and  v.p  to  r.  of  ialde 
R.c.  As  she  crosses,  Angela  rises  and  goes  c.  to  Vyse, 
tvho  meets  her  up  c.     Vyse  stares  at  Mrs.  Cropper. 

Angela,  {aside  to  Vyse)  Who  is  that  ? 

Vyse.  Eh?  oh.1  (asic/e  io  Angela)  The  waitress  with  the 
tea. 

Mrs.  C.  (putting  tray  on  table)  I  saw  you  come  in,  sir,  so 
I  'urried  up,  and  you're  just  in  time. 

Vyse.  Ah,  yes — thank  you. 

Mrs.  C.  I  didn't  know  whether  you  was  comin'  back  or 
not,  sir  ;  and  so  I  told  yer  brother  and  sister. 

Vyse.  What? 

Angela,  {aside  to  Yybe)  Were  you  expecting  your  brother 
and 

Vyse.  {aside  to  Angela)  What,  no— she  thinks  I'm  some- 
one else,  (goes  l.  tdth  Angela,  and  they  stand  v:ith  their 
hacks  to  Mrs.  Cropper) 

Mrs.  C.  (arranging  tray)  I've  made  yer  a  nice  cup  o'  tea. 
A  spoonful  for  each  and  one  for  the  pot.  (goes  to  D.R.  and 
calls  as  if  to  Lord  Robert  and  Violet)  Tea  is  quite 
ready,  sir,  when  you  are.  (tnrns  away  from  D.R.) 

Vy'SE.  (ttirning)  Yes,  all  right.     Thanks. 

Mrs.  C.  (at  table  R.c.)  I  think  you'll  find  I've  cut  the 
bread  and  butter  as  thin  as  a  wafer,  and  I  got  the  cake  and 
tlie  biscuits  down  in  the  shop,  (goes  c,  Angela  crosses  n.) 

Vy'se.  Yes,  yes. 

Mrs.  C.  (pulling  dcicn  her  slceirs)  I  do  'ope,  sir,  as  you'll 
excuse  the  state  I'm  in,  but  this  is  my  washin'  and  scrubbin' 
day,  and,  as  the  lady  will  tell  yer,  yer  can't  clean  the  'ouse 
and  yerself  at  the  same  time,  (exit  d.l.  at  back) 

Vyse.  No.     Quite  so. 

Re-enter  Mrs.  Cropper  qnickly. 

Mrs.  C.  Oh  well,  there,  I  am  forgetful.  You'll  want  two 
more  cups,  won't  you  ?  I'll  not  keep  yer  a  minute,  (exit 
D.  L.  at  back) 

Angela.  What  a  funny  woman,  isn't  she  ? 

Vyse.  Yes,  a  sort  of  charwoman,  I  fancy.  I  suppose 
they're  short  of  waitresses  to-day,  and  so  they're  making  use 
of  her. 

Angela.  How  in  the  world  shall  I  get  home  if  the  fo^; 
lasts  ? 


A  cou^:try  mouse.  49 

Tyse.  You'll  have  to  stay  here  till  it  clears. 

Angela.  But  you'll  be  getting  so  tired  of  me. 

Vyse.   So  tired  that  I  wish  the  fog  would  last  tov  a  week. 

Angela.  (sifUing)  Oh  ! 

Vyse.  A  month 

Angela.  Oh  ! 

Vyse.  A  year. 

Angela.  Oh  I  {l<iu(ihs  and  goes  R.) 

Vyse.  {goiiuj  r.)No\v  let  me  give  you  some  tea. 

Angela.  No,  no  ;  I'll  preside  over  the  tea.  That's  my 
province,  (ptits  her  smisltade  on  couch  B..  and  sits  at  back  of 
table  R.c.  Jaciiig  aitdtence  ;  Yyse  stands  L.  of  her) 

Vyse.  By  Jove  1  I  wish  you  could  pour  out  tea  for  me 
every  day. 

Angela,  (pouring  out  tea)  That's  precisely  what  our  Vicar 
said,  only  last  week. 

Vy.se.  It's  like  his  impertinence. 

Angela.  Oh,  no,  he  meant  it. 

Vyse.  Has  he  a  wife  i 

Angela.  No,  poor  man,  he  can't  afford  one.  He  told  me 
so,  and  I  felt  very  sorry  for  him.  He  spoke  so  pathetically, 
and  there  were  tears  in  his  eyes  when  he  wanted  to  kiss  me. 
^Vyse  sits  L.  of  table) 

Vyse.  And — did  he  kiss  you  ? 

Angela.  Yes.  (Vyse  rises)  But  only  as  a  clergyman.  Do 
you  take  cream  ? 

Vyse.  Please,  (goes  close  to  her) 

Angela.  And  sugar  ? 

VvsE.  Please. 

An(;ela.  ijiolding  up  sugar  bold)  Perhaps  you'd  better 
help  yourself. 

Vyse.  (gazing  at  her)  I  should  like  to  help  myself.      And 

I  feel  I  can't  helj)  myself,  for  I  m'tst  help  myself  and ■ 

(about  to  kiss  her;  the  electric  bell  rings  and  he  draros  back) 
Now  who  the  dickens 

Angela,  ((juietlu)  What  is  it? 

Vyse.  (a  little  up  l.)  The  bell.  That  idiot  of  a  woman 
■will  say  I'm  at  home,  (r^nis  to  door  L. ,  at  bad:) 

Angela.  Perhaps  the  room  downstairs  is  quite  full. 

Vyse.  (opening  door,  pntting  his  head  out  and  beckoning  to 
Mrs.  Cropper)  Here,  Hi  I  Pst  ;  Pst.  Confuund  her  ;  .she'a 
■gone  to  the  door  I  (jxiuses)  By  George  I  (sliuts  door  qidcldy) 
It's  Sylvia  !  1 

Angela.  Who  ? 

Vyse.  Lady  Sylvia  Bowlby  I  (switches  off  the  electric  lic/ht ; 
the  stage  is  nearly  dark) 

Angela,  (rises)  What  did  you  do  that  for  i  {goes  dou-n  r.) 


so  A   COUNTRY    MOUSE. 

Vyse.  You  mustn't  be  seen. 

Angela.  Mustn't  I  ? 

Vyse.  No,  no.  She'll — she'll  tell  your  cousin  Violet,  and 
you  don't  want  her  to  know  you've  been  here,  do  you -do 
you? 

Angela.  No,  I  don't,  (goes  to  d.k.) 

Vyse.  (<joing  quickly  to  cupboard  doors  R.  at  bad')  No,  no  t 
Not  in  there.  Here  !  go  in  here,  it's  a  sort  of  cupboard. 
You'll  be  quite  safe,   (ojjens  cupboard  doors) 

Angela.  Why  should  I  go  in  a  cupboard  ?  There  are 
mice  in  that  cupboard. 

Vyse.  There's  not  a  mice — I  mean  mouse.  (Angela  takes^ 
cup  often  and  piece  of  cake  from  table)  Quick— quick  1 

Angela,  {goinrj  up  to  cupboard)  You  bring  me  out  to  tea, 
and  you  shut  me  in  a  cupboard  !  (Angela  goes  into  cup- 
board) 

Vyse.  She  won't  stay  long.  I'll  get  rid  of  her  as  soon  as 
possible,  {shuts  cupboard  doors) 

Angela,  (inside  cupboard)  I  want  to  go  back  to  th& 
country  !  (Vy'se  runs  to  couch  r.,  lies  bade  on  it  irith  his  feet 
vp,  and  feigns  sleep.) 

Enter  Lady  Sylvia  Bowlby  and  Mrs.  Cropper  d.l.  at 
back  ;  Mrs.  Cropper  carries  ascdverimth  two  cups  and 
saucers  ;  Lady  Sylvia  comes  doxoi  L.c. 

Mrs.  C.  Walk  in,  mum,  please.  Why,  dear  me,  we're  all 
in  the  dark.  What  a  fog  it  is  to  be  sure.  Well,  reely,  I 
never  did.  {switches  light  on  and  goes  to  table  R.c.  linth:  cups)' 

Vyse.  Eh  ?  Who's  that  1  {turns  his  head)  What  1  Oh  ! 
(rising,  affecting  surprise)  I  beg  your  pardon.  (Mrs.  Cropper 
glances  about,  icondering  what  has  become  of  the  others) 

Lady  S.  {shaking  her  head  irarningly)  How  do  you  do, 
Mr.  Vyse  1 

Vy'se.  Ah  ;  delighted  to  see  you.  {crosses  to  Lad\'  Sylvia)' 
I— I'm  afraid  I  was  asleep,  (shakes  hands) 

Mrs.  C.  counting  cups  at  table  ;  aside)  One,  two,  three, 
four  ;  {glanchig  at  Lady'  Sylvia)  and  now  live,  {aloud,  going 
to  d.l.  at  hack)  You'll  want  another  cup,  sir  ? 

Vyse.  {impatiently)  All  right,  all  right. 

Mrs.  C.  I  'ope  the  lady  will  excuse  the  state  o'  my 
workin'  clothes.  You  see,  mum,  I  didn't  know  as  Mr. 
Vyse  ■HIS  expectin'  company,  or  you  wouldn't  'ave  found 
me  undi-essed.   (exit  d.l.  at  back) 

Lady  S.  (very  coldly)  I  said  last  night  I  would  send  you  a. 
note  to-day,  but  on  second  thoughts  I  decided  to  come= 
myself.     Vuu  didn't  get  my  telegram  ] 

Vyse.  Telegram— telegram?  {goes  to  xtriting  table  l.) 


A  COUNTRY  MOUSE.  51 

Ladt  S.  I  know  you  did  not,  becar.se  I  see  you  didn't 
e)ij)ectme.  (r.c.) 

Vyse.  {ta]:ing  iip  idc<jriiin  from  ivritiivf  tnhlc  and  tcariiKf 
it  open)  By  Juve  I  Here  it  is.  It  nni.st  have  come  when  I 
WHS  out,  and  that  woman  never  told  me.  (ghincu'jj  over 
■7>iessage)  Yes,  this  is  it. 

LaiiY  S.  And  you  never  saw  it,  although  it  was  there 
before  your  ej'es. 

Vyse.  I  can't  think  how 

Lady'  S.  No  ?  I  can.  You  were  too  much  occupied. 
{looking  at  tea-tahJe) 

Vyse.  Occupied  ? 

Lady  S.  (pointing  to  tea-thingf:)  You  were  not  alone. 
■{ataiids  behind  table) 

Vy'se.   Oh — oh,  yes,  yes.     Some  men  dropped  in.  (c.) 

Lady  S.  Indeed,  (sees  Angela's  sunsliade  vyi  conch.  Goes 
E.  and  picks  it  \ip)  And  one  of  them  left  his  sunshade  behind. 

Vy'se.   One  of — one  of  their  wives,  you  mean. 

Lady'  S.   How  very  forgetful. 

Vyse.  I  wonder  which  it  was. 

Lady'  S.  (looking  at  initials  on  silver  band  round  tlte  handle) 
Here  are  her  initials.     A.M. 

Vy'oE.  Ah,  Maxwell.     Lady  Maxwell, 

Lady'  S.  "What  does  A.  stand  for  ? 

Vy'se.  a  ?     Oh,  Anne  or  Amelia.     I  think  it's  Anne. 

Lady'  S.  (looking  fixedl II  at  him)  Or — Angela. 

Vy\se.  Is  it  ?     Perhaps  so.     I  don't  know. 

Lady'  S.  Lady  Maxwell's  name  is  Edith. 

Vy'se.  Ah,  then  it  can't  be  hers. 

Lady'  S.  Xo.  (throxcs  sunshade  on  couch.  Vehemently) 
Ah  !  tch  I  (comes  doirn  K.  of  table)  Do  you  think  I'm  a  fool? 
Do  you  think  I  didn't  see  how  you  were  taken  up  with  that 
Angela  Muir  all  last  evening,  with  hardly  a  word  or  look  for 
anyone  else  ?  She  with  lier  eyes  and  her  blushes  and  her 
pretty  shy  ways;  so  charminig,  so  artless — losing  her  fan  ; 
losing  her  fiddlestick  I  So  fresh,  so  natural,  so  sweetly 
simple,  (goes  c.)  The  dear  little  innocent  baby  was  playing 
with  you,  twisting  you  ruund  her  finger,  while  j'ou — you 
who  call  yourself  a  man  of  the  Morld,  were  as  completely 
tricked  and  cajoled  as  the  veriest  schoolboy. 

Vyse.  Really,  you  know,  this  is  all  pure  imagination  on 
your  part.  ^ 

LaI'Y'  S.  Perhajjs  it  is  pure  imagination  that  you  were 
playing  crofjuet  with  her  this  morning,  (scornfidlg)  Croquet  I 
(goes  vj)  c.) 

Vyse.  (following  her)  I  assure  you  you  haven't  the  slightest 
xcasou  to  be 


52     .  A   COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Lai>y  S.  I'm  not  blind. 

Vyse.  {raising  Ids  voice)  You  haven't  the  slightest  rcasort, 
to  be 

Lady  S.  Nor  am  I  deaf. 

Vyse.  (lo7cering  his  voice)  Tlie  slightest  reason  to  ba 
jealous. 

Lady  S.  Jealous  !  How  dare  you  say  I'm  jealous  ?  I — I 
jealous  of  a  little  country  chit  like  that  I  {crosses  L.) 

Vyse.  No,  of  course  not.  (r.c.) 

Lady'  S.  I'm  only  sorry  for  you.  Sorry  to  find  you're  sa 
easily  taken  in. 

Vyse.  Yes,  well,  never  mind  her  now. 

Lady  S.  {forcing  a  sicile)  J  don't  mind,  (sits  in  anv-chair 
I.e.) 

Vyse.  That's  right. 

Lady  S.  {with  assuived  stceetness,  after  a  pause)  You  woa'fc 
see  her  again  1 

Vyse.  No. 

LadyS.  No? 

Vyse.  No.  (Lady  Sylvia  laughs  softlu)  Why  do  you. 
laugh  ? 

Lady  S.   I  was  wondering {lauyJis) 

Vyse.  Yes  ? 

Lady  S.  I  was  wondering  how  you  intend  to  avoid  seeing; 

her. 

Vyse.  That's  easy  enough. 

Lady  S.  Is  it  1 

Vyse.  Of  course. 

Lady  S.  I  see  one  difficulty. 

Vyse.  What's  that  ? 

Lady  S.  {sternhj)  She's  here  now.  {rises) 

Vyse.  I'll  take  my  oath — - 

Lady  S.  Will  you  ?  In  that  case  you  will  have  na 
objection  to  my  Droving  the  tiuth  of  your  asseitiim. 
{crosses  R.) 

Vyse.  Oh,  well,  you  must  do  as  you  please. 

Lady  S.  Thank  you  very  much,  {exit  d.r.,  A'yse  runs  up- 
to  ciijihoarcl  and  opens  doors  a  fen:  inches) 

Vyse.  {to  Angela)  If  anyone  tries  this  door,  go  up  tho 
ladder.     There's  a  trap  at  the  top. 

Angela,  (m  cupboard)  Yes,  but — I  want  some  more  cal:e. 

Vyse.  Shush  !  {slnits  doors  quickhj  and  comes  domn  L.c.) 

Lady  S.  {in  room  r.)  While  you  are  standing  there  behind 
the  window  curtain  I'm  afraid  the  tea  will  be  getting  cold. 

Vyse.  (astounded)  Great  Scott  !     What  on  earth 

Enter  Lady  Sylvia  d.r. 


A    COUNTRY   MOUSE,  53 

Lady  S.  Really  it  was  very  impolite  of  you  to  leave  lMi:8 
Muir  alone  so  lont^. 

Vyse.  Miss  IMuir  ? 

Lady  S.  And  all  in  the  dark,  too.  Hadn't  you  better  po 
and  make  your  apologies  1  (crosses  h.    Vyse  goes  towards  d.r.) 

Enter  Violet  and  Lord  Robert   d.r.  ;  Lady  Sylvia. 
and  Vyse  stare  agJiast  at  them. 

Vyse.  Well,  I'm  hanged  I  (Ijnrsts  into  a  fit  of  laiujhJer) 

Violet,  (to  Lady  Sy'lvia)  Good  gracious,  dear,  we  had 
no  idea  it  was  you.  (r.c.) 

Lord  R.  No  !  we  thought  Vyse  -tTas  bringing  in  a — friend 
— a  visitor  whom  Mrs.  Aynsley  didn't  know  ;  and  so  we — we 
thought  he'd  like  us  to  wait  in  the  dining-room  for  a  bit. 
{crosses  l.  to  Lady'  Sylvia) 

Lady  S.  (smilinri  su-eethj)  Oh,  I  quite  understand. 

Vyse.  (going  to  Violet)  I  hadn't  a  notion  there  was  any- 
one here.     I'm  awfully  pleased  to  see  you. 

Lord  R.  (aside  to  Lady'  Sylvia)  You  won't  mention 
having  met  Mrs.  Aynsley  here. 

Lady  S.  Uh,  no. 

Lord  R.  No,  I  thought  not, 

Vyse.  (aside  to  Violet)  That  sunshade  there.  Say  it's 
yours,  will  you  1 

Violet.  INIine  ? 

Vyse.  Yes — no — wait.     Say  it's  Miss  Muir'a, 

Violet.  Why? 

Vy'se.  Y"ou  brought  it  by  mistake. 

Violet.   What  do  you — • — 

Vyse.  Please.     Ask  liim  for  it.    (goes  to  bach  of  chair  L.c.) 

Violet.  Oh;  very  well,  (io  Lord  Robert)  Bob! 

Lord  R.  Yes.  (goes  to  Violet  r.c.) 

Violet.  I  wi.sh  you'd  find  my  sunshade. 

Lord  R.  (going  n.)  Sunshade — sunshade?  Where  did  you 
leave  it  ?     Oh,  here  it  is.  (takes  iip  sunshade  from  couch  R.) 

Violet.  Ah,  thanks. 

Lady  S.  Is  that  yours?  (going  c.) 

Violet,  (taking  snnshade  from  Lord  Robert)  Yes.  Ab 
least — no.  (looking  at  it)  Why,  where  did  1  get  it?  Oh,  it's 
Angela's.  I've  brought  away  Angela's  by  mistake.  How 
stupid  !  (comes  doivn  r.  ;  Vy'SE  smiles  and  nods  to  Lady 
Sylvia,  as  much  as  to  sag,  "  There,  you  see.") 

Lady'  S.    Where  is  Miss  Muir  to-day  ? 

Violet.  She  said  she  was  going  to  meet  some  friends  at 
Westminster  Abbey.  She's  so  fond  of  going  about  to  such 
queer  places.  May  I  help  myself  to  some  tea?  (sits  R.  of 
table.  Lord  Robert  siis  at  back  of  table,  facing  audience,) 


5i  A   COUNTRY   MOUSE. 

Vyse.  (leliind  chair  J..C.)  Oh,  do!  (askh  to  Laht  Syt.vi*, 
loJio  has  come  K.  of  Jam)  Don't  you  think  you've  been  a  little 
hard  on  me  ? 

Lady  S.  {humhhj)  You  must  admit  I  had  reason  for 
suspicion. 

Vyse.  (earnestly)  It  hurt  me  horribly. 

Lady  S.  (penitently)  Archie,  I'm  sorry.  Yen  must 
forget  it. 

Vyse.  I'll  try  to.  {turns  up  stage  with  Lady  Sylyia) 

Lord  R.  (aside  to  Yiolet)  Your  husband  will  never  hear 
anything  through  her.     She'd  be  i;iving  herself  away. 

Violet.   What  a  comfort,  isn't  it  ?  (yires  him  a  cup  of  tea) 

Lord  R.  Yes.  For  the  future  we  four  constitute  a  niutual 
protection  society.  Do  you  know — I  almost  wish  you  were 
not  married. 

Violet.  Do  you  ?  Come  and  see  me  to-morrow,  and  I'll 
tell  you  something. 

Vyse.  I  hope  the  tea  isn't  cold  ?  (goes  to  table  ii.c.) 

Violet.  No  ;  but  it's  frightfully  strong,  (gives  cup  to  Vyse 
^oho  gices  it  to  Lady  Sy'lvia) 

Vyse.   (to  Lady  S.)  Are  you  afraid  of  your  nerves'? 

Lady  S.  Thank  goodness,  I  don't  know  what  nerves  are. 
{sits  L.c.) 

Violet.  Nor  I. 

Lord  R.  Nerves  were  made  for  slaves. 

Vyse.  (sitting  on  chair  j,.  of  table  B..C.,  and  talcing  cup  of 
^ea //Y;m  Violet)  And  make  slaves  of  the  people  who  own 
them.  So  many  persons  are  in  a  constant  state  of  appre- 
hension and  tidget;  whereas,  the  jilain,  simple  rule  of  life 

is (tlte  electric   hell  rings,   there  is  a  pause,  jnds  cup  on 

table)  Half  a  minute,  (rises,  goes  to  d.l.  at  bad:,  opens  it  and 
stand  listening) 

Lady  S.  If  you  are  in  a  hurry  to  get  home,  Violet,  you 
can  take  my  carriage  and  send  it  back  for  me. 

Lord  R.  Oh,  thanks  awfully. 

Violet,  (to  Lord  R)  She  was  speaking  to  ??ie. 

Lord  R.  The  same  thing. 

Vyse.  (shutting door  quicklij)  Bowlby  !  !  ! 

Lady  S.  (rises)   My  husband  !  (goes  l.  quickly) 

Vyse.  Yes,  that's  right,  (pointing  to  d.l.)  In  there,  (to 
Violet,  ^cho  is  going  b..)  No,  no.  This  way.  Go  with  her. 
(Violet  runs  across  to  l.)  I'll  turn  the  light  off  presently, 
and  when  you  hear  me  cough,  slip  out  and  steal  away  quietly. 

Exe/oit  Lady  Sylvia  cDid  Violet  d.l. 

LokdR.  (c.)  Shalll  stop? 

Vyse.   No  ;  you'll  be  putting  your  foot  in  it. 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE,  55 

Lord  R.  All  righ*-.  (ntus  to  d.r.)  Half  a  minute.  (tnn'S 
hack  to  table,  takes  up  cup  and  piece  of  cake  and  exits  quickly 
D.R.) 

Yyse.  (rimninj  to  d.r.)  Here,  I  say,  Bob  !  if  he  should 
«ee  you— not  a  -word  about  the  ladies.  Do  you  hear,  Bob  1 
{exit  D.R.) 

Enter  Mu.?.  CROPrER  d.l.  at  back  followed  by  Bowlby  and 
the  DcKE  OF  St.  Kitts. 

Mrs.  C.  Yes,  sir.  Please  to  walk  in,  sir.  Oh— why 
«urely  they  ain't  all  gone  ? 

BowLEY.  All  gone  ? 

Duke.  ^Yho  ? 

Mrs.  C.  ]Mr.  Vyse  'ad  company  to  tea,  sir.  His  brother 
4ind  sister  and  two  other  ladies.  They  must  'are  left  with- 
out my  seeing  of  'em.  But  p'raps  Mr.  Yyse  is  'ere  still. 
■goes  to  D.R.) 

Duke,  {to  Bowlry)  Didn't  know  Vyse  had  a  brother. 

BowLBY'.   She  said  his  sister,  too. 

Duke.  Ah,  that's  very  probable.  Bachelors  in  chambers 
.generally  have  sisters,  {turns  up  stage  looking  round  room; 
goes  sloivly  R.  at  back,  and  comes  dorcn  n) 

Mrs.  C.  {at  d.r.  to  Yyse)  Yeiy  good,  sir.  {turning  to 
Bowlby)  Mr.  Yyse  will  be  with  ycu  directly,  sir.  {at  table 
ai.c.)  I'm  sure  the  tea  must  be  quite  cold,  {feeling  teapot) 
Yes,  that  it  is.  I  must  make  some  fresh,  {exit  rcith  teapot 
a).L.  at  back) 

BowLBY  sta)ids  at  tcriting  table  L.,  looking  over  illustrated 
papers,  and  facing  L. ;  the  Duke  is  doivn  R.  ;  Axgel.v 
ojyens  cupboard  doors  softly  and  peeps  out;  at  this 
moment  the  Duke  turns  and  they  see  each  other;  she 
leaves  the  doors  wide  open  and  goes  up  the  ladder ;  the 
Duke  goes  quickly  up  to  cupboard,  standsfor  a  moment 
looking  up  after  her,  and  tlien  goes  up  the  ladder; 
BowLBY'  sees  notliing  of  all  this.  Enter  Mrs.  CRorPER 
D.L.  at  back,  with  teapot  which  she  pt'f^ts  on  table  R.C  ; 
she  sees  the  cupboard  doors  open,  and  shuts  them, 
leaving  the  R.  one  a  little  open,  and  then  exits  D.L.  at 
back.  Enter  Yyse  d.r.  ;  seeing  the  cupboard  door  a 
title  open  he  goes  softly  up  R.,  closes  door  gently,  comes 
do\ni  to  D.K.,  jumps  and  comes  down  heavily  on  his  feet 
(so  as  to  make  Bowlby  believe  he  lias  just  entered),  and 
goes  c.  with  outstretched  hand,  as  Bowlby  turns. 

Vyse.  (affecting  surprise)  Ah,  Bowlby.  I  wondered  who 
it  was.  (Bowlby  is  very  cold  and  distant  in  manner,  and 
■does  not  take  Vyse's  hand) 


,')6  A   COUNTRY  MOUSE. 

Vyse.  (ignoring  Bowleg's  manner)  The  fog  is  very  thick» 
isn't  it  ? 

BowLBY,  Yes.  The  Duke  was  taking  refuge  in  the  tea-, 
shop  below,  and  that's  how  we  met. 

Vyse.  St.  Kitts  ? 

BowLBY.  What  ?  {tHrnin(i)  Why — whero  has  he  got  to  1 

Vyse.   Was  he  here  1 

BowLBY.  Yes.     He  must  have  gone  downstairs  again. 

Vyse.  There  are  some  rather  good-looking  girls  in  the- 
shop. 

BowLBY'.   (sternhi)  So  much  the  better. 

Vyse.  Eh  ?         '  _ 

BowLBY'.  I  mean  he  insisted  on  coming  up.  I  couldn'b 
get  rid  of  him,  and — I  came  here  purposely  to  see  you  alone. 

Vyse.  You'll  excuse  me  I  know,  {looking  at  his  watch) 
I've  got  a  most  important  engagement,  but  if — five 
minutes ? 

BowLBY'.  I  won't  keep  you  three.  Mr.  Vyse,  I  must  ask 
you  to  be  good  enough  to  discontinue  your  visits  to  my 
house. 

Vyse.  Whati 

BowLBY.  You  will  not,  I  hope,  give  rise  to  any  unnecessry 
scandal  by  compelling  me  to  order  my  servants  not  to  admit 
you. 

Vyse.  Who  has  been  jabbering  '\ 

BowLBY.  Jabbering  ? 

Vy'SE.  Come  !  What  silly  woman  has  been  filling  your- 
head  with  this  nonsense  ? 

BowLBY.  No  one  has  said  a  word. 

Vyse.  Then  how 

BowLBY'.  I  have  seen  for  myself — for  some  time.  I  am 
not  blind. 

Vy'se.  You're  entirely  mistaken.  There  is  not  the- 
slightest 

Bowlby.  Pardon  me.  I  decline  to  discuss  the  matter. 
Y'ou  will  plainly  understand  that  our  acquaintance  ceasea 
from  to-day.  (going) 

Vyse.  (qniciiy)  Wait  a  bit. 

Bowlby.  (stopping)  Nothing  that  you  may  say  can 

Vy'se.  You'd  better  listen.  It's  for  Lady — we  won  t. 
mention  names — it's  for  her  sake.  To  show  you  how  pre- 
posterously absurd  your  suspicions  are,  I  may  tell  you  that. 
I'm  going  to  be  married. 

Bowlby.  (surprised)  Married  ?    You  !  (l.c.) 

Vyse.  Surprising,  isn't  it?  (k.c.) 

Bowlby.  Is  this — true  1 

Vyse.  Perfectly. 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  67 

Bo"nLBY.  Do  I  know 

Vyse.  The  lady  ?     Oh  yes.     She's  Miss  Muir. 

BowLLY.  (raising  his  voice  in  surpi-ise)  Miss  Muir  ? 

Vyse.  (quickly)  Don't  shout — the  people  below  will  hear 
you. 

BowLBY.  I'm  astounded  ! 

Vyse.   Why  ?  She's  a  very  charming  girl. 

Bow'LBY.  Yes,  and  that's  the  reason  I — dear  me !  (crosses  r}- 

Vyse.   Well — are  you  sorry  you  spoke  ? 

Bo\YLBY.  Of  course  if — if — I  had  known 

Vyse.  Never  mind.  We'll  forget  it.  One  should  always, 
excuse  a  husband.     I've  invariably  done  so. 

BoYVLEY.  Anyway,  I  recall  my  words  ;  and  I • 

Vyse.  That's  all  right-,  (looks  at  his  imtch  ;  goes  up  to  tabic 
B.  of  i>.L.  at  hack,  and  takes  up  liis  hat  and  stick) 

BowLBY.  I  see  you're  in  a  hurry,  so  I  mustn't  keep  you. 

Vyse.  Well,  I'm  afraid  I  must  be  off.  I've  got  an  appoint- 
ment at  the  club. 

BowLCY.  I  don't  know  how  you'll  get  there.  If  you' 
don't  mind  I'll  stop  here  and  smoke  a  cigarette  till  it  gets. 
lighter,  {takes  out  cigarette  case  while  standing  down  u.c  , 
facing  audience) 

Vyse.  {drawing  on  his  gloves)  Oh  do,  by  all  means.  I'm 
sorry  my  man  is  out,  but  that  woman  Avill  get  you  anything 
you  want. 

BowLBY.  Thanks.  I  think  she's  bringing  some  tea.  (Vyse 
srcitches  light  off;  Vie  stage  is  quite  dark)  1  \)veiex  tQA  to — 
Hullo  I 

Vyse.  Confound  that  light.  That's  the  second  time  to-day. 

BowLEY.   Something  wrong  with  the  connection  ? 

Vyse.  {wp  c.)  Yes.  I  r.iall  have  to  get  a  man  to  come  and 
see  to  it.  (coughs)  Stay  v.r.ere  you  are  while  I  find  a  candle. 
(coughs) 

Lady  Svlvia  and  Violet  steal  in  softbj  from  d.l.  and- 
Lord  Robeut//ohi  d.r. 

Bowi.EY.  If  you  want  a  match  I've  got  one. 

Vyse.  No,  no  ;  don't  strike  it  yet.  Wait  a  bit.  I  know 
there's  a  candle  here  somewhere,  and  111  lay  my  hartd  on  it. 
in  a  second,  (coughs  three  times) 

Enter  Mrs.  Cropper  d.l.  at  back  with  hot  water  jug) 

Mrs.  C.  Why,  my  goodness  me,  whatever's  happened  to- 
the  light 

Vyse.  (guickhj)  Don't  touch  it  ! 

Mrs.  Cropper  suritches  light  on,  puts  jug  on  table  by  door, 
aiid  exits  d.l.   at  back.     Lady  Sylvia,   Violet  and. 


•58  A  cou^;TIlY  mouse. 

Lord  Robert  are  discovered  ;  the  ladies  are  half  n-a\j 
up  stage  L.,  and  Lord  Robert  up  statje  r.,  (dove  table, 
Vyse  is  up  c,  and  Bowlby  down  R.     Tableau. 

BowLBY.  S^'lvia  I     And — and (crosses  c.) 

Vyse.  (feigning  great  surprise)  Why — where  in  the  world 
•did  you  all  spring  from?  (lang/is  luudhj  ;  ((side  to  Lord 
Robert)  Laugh— damn  it — lauah  !  (sigmds  to  the  ladies  to 
laugh  ;  they  (dl  lan(jh  hearfihj  UHth  the  exception  o/'Bowlby) 

Lady'  S.  (lawjhing)  We  did  startle  you,  Mr.  Vyse.  Now 
-didn't  we  1 

Violet,  (langhing)  And  Mr.  Bowlb}',  too.  (goes  to  Vy'se) 

Lord  R.  (lavghinrj)  By  Jove,  yes,  Ave  made  'era  both 
jump  1  (comes  down  R.) 

BowLBY'.  I  don't  think  I  see  the  joke,  (crosses  i,.) 

Lady"  S.   My  dear  John,  do  you  ever  see  a  joke  ? 

Violet.  Sylvia  and  I.  you  know — we — we  Avere  having 
"tea  downstairs,  and — and 

Lady  S.  And  Lord  Robert  came  in. 

Lord  R.  Yes — I  came  in. 

Lady  S.  (to  Vy'.se)  And  he  said  that  you  lived  up  here.  ^, 

Lord  R.  Yes,  that's  what  I  said.     Vyse  lives  up  here 
■said.     Just  like  that.     Vyse   lives   U[i   here.     I   knew  you 
were  in 

Violet.  Out,  j'ou  mean,  (crosses  to  Loud  Robert) 

Lord  R.  Out,  I  me^in.     I  knew  you  were  out,  and 

Violet.  And  he  said  what  a  lark  it  would  be  to  make  your 
•servant  give  us  tea,  and  then  you'd  wonder  who  on  earth 
had  been  in  your  rooms.  (l((ughs) 

Vyse.  (laughing)  What  a  chap  yuu  are.  Bob  I 

Lady'  S.  Yes,  and  in  the  middle  of  the  festivities  we  heard 
J70U  coming  in,  and  Lord  Robert  jumi)cd  up 

Lord  R.   I  did,  by  Jove,  1  jumped  up. 

Lady  S.   And  said  let  us  all  hide. 

LoKD  R.  Yes,  le*-'s  all  hide,  I  said.  Just  like  that.  Let'a 
•all  hide. 

Violet.  So  tec  scampered  in  there,  and  he  skipped  in 
there,  and— oh  dear,  I  shall  never  forget  your  face  Avhen  we 
■caught  you  !  (theg  all  laugli  loudhj  except  Bowlby) 

Bowlby'.  Are  you  coming  home  now,  Sylvia  ? 

Lady  S.  In  this  frightful  fog?  No,  thank  you;  it's  a 
little  too   risky. 

BoAVLBY\  You  are  not  usually  deterred  by  anything — risky. 

Violet.  (lau(jhing)  Well,  Ave've  all  come  down  like  an 
■avalanche  on  poor  Mr.  Vyse,     Haven't  Ave  ?  (crosses  r.) 

Boavley.  (crossi)ujv.'&.)  And  now  Ave  are  here,  Ave  must  all 
•ofler  him  our  hearty  congratulations. 


A   COUNTRY   MOUSE.  5J> 

ADY  S.  Congratulations  ?  (down  L  ) 

BowLBY.  On  a  happy  event.  {iLrdcJtitnj  the  effect  on  Lady 
Sylvia)  Our  friend,  Mr.  Vyae,  has  just  told  me  that  he  and 
Miss  Muir  are  engaged  to  be  married. 

Violet,   {astounded)  Angela — engaged  ? 

Lady  S.  (under  her  breath)  Oh  I  (ijocs  vp  l.) 

Lord  R.   Why,  Vyse,  old  chap,  I  had  no  idea 

Vys£.  (runft(sed)  Yes,  well — Mr.  Bowlby's  a  little  prema- 
ture, perhaps — but — yes.  (Bowlby  crosses  l.) 

Loud  R.  (aside  to  Violet)  I  say,  by  Jove,  this  is  rather  a. 
crusher  for  Lady  Sylvia. 

Violet,  (aside  to  Lokd  R.)  I  hope  to  goodness  she  won't 
give  herself  away. 

Lady  S.  (<joing  to  Vyse)  Mr.  Vyse,  I  congratulate  you 
most  heartily,  (shaki)iri  hands)  Miss  Muir  is  a  sweet  girl,  and 
you  have  my  best — my  very  best  wishes  for  your  happiness. 

Vyse.  (a  little  anhioarclly)  Thanks.  Thanks  very  much. 
(they  looh  each  other  steadily  in  the  eyes  for  a  moment  and 
Lady  Sy'Lvia  ti/rns  up  stacje) 

Violet,  (aside  to  Lord  R.)  Bravo,  Sylvia  I 

Lord  R.  (aside  to  Violet)  By  gad,  she's  splendid  ! 

Vyse.  Well,  now,  you  must  all  stay  and  have  tea.  Finish 
tea  I  should  say,  since  we  disturbed  you  in  the  middle  of 
it.  Lady  Sylvia  {<joinrj  to  table  R.C.),  let  me  give  you  another 
cup  of— —  (thumpiny  sound  heard  above  cupboard) 

Lord  R.  What's  that  noise 

Vyse.  That  ?  Oh,  it's — I  don't  know.  Something  next 
door,  (the  ihumpiny  continues) 

Bowlby".  How  thin  the  walls  are  in  these  places. 

Vyse.  {belt  ind  table,  facing  audience)  Yes.  Great  nuisance 
sometimes,  (pours  out  tea  ;  cuuytiiny  and  snee:.ing  heard) 

Lord  R.  It's  someone  in  that  room. 

Vy'se.  It's  not  a  room.  It's  a  way  to  the  roof,  (coughing 
and  snee::ing  continues) 

Violet.  Hush.     Listen  1 

Lord  R.  I  tell  you  it's  someone  in  there,  (goes  to  cupboard 
doors) 

Vyse.  Oh,  I  remember  now.     It's  the  workmen. 

Lord  Rodert  pidls  open  cupboard  doors  before  Vy'se  can 
stop  Jtim.  Enter  the  Duse  and  Angela /com  cup- 
boaid  ;  their  clothes  are  covered  iritli  dirt  and  their 
faces  streaked  with  black. 

Violet.  The  Duke  1 
Lady  S.  Miss  Muir  ! 

Dc'KE.  (coughing  and  wiping  his  face  with  Jiis  handke 

We've  had  such  a  time  !     We — we  went  up  on  the  roof 


<)0  A   COUNTRY   MOUSE, 

Angela,  (gasping)  Among  the  cliimneys, 

Duke.  And  that  infernal  trap  door  slammed  down. 

Angela.  And  we  pulled  and  tugged  for  at  least  ten 
tninutes. 

Dike.  Ten  weeks  ! 

Angela.  And  what  with  the  smoke 

Duke.  And  the  fog 

Angela.  We  couldn't  see  the  view.  The  Duke  was  so 
kind  ;  he  wanted  me  to  see  the  view.  He  says  it's  quite 
lovely  up  there  on  a  fine  day. 

Lady  S.  {culdlij)  What  a  very  unexpected  meeting,  isn't 
it  ?  {to  Violet)  I  thought  you  said  Miss  Muir  was  at 
Westminster  Abbey,  (l.) 

Angela,  (c.)  Oh  yes,  you  see  I  was  lost  in  the  fog. 

Lady  S.  (sarcasticallii)  And  wandered  here  over  the  roofs  1l 

Duke.  (r.  of  Angela)  How  did  yon  come  here,  Sylvia? 
Vy  the  tube  1 

Violet,  (aside  to  Vyse)  Was  Angela  here  all  the  time  ? 

Vyse.  Yes. 

Violet.  Angela,  dear,  this  )V  a  surprise.  We  have  just 
heard  the  wonderful  news  of  your  engagement  to  Mr.  Vyse. 

Angela.  My  engagement  to  Mr.  Vyse  ! 

Duke.  Vyse  ?  Nothing  of  the  sort.  /  am  the  happy 
man. 

tlTUEKS.    You  1  1 

Ancela.  Yes.  The  Duke  is  so  good.  He  has  very  kindly 
asked  me  to  be  a  duchess. 

BovvLBY.  (l.)  But — there  must  be  some  mistake  ! 

Duke.  Mistake  ?  (to  AxVGKla)  We  mean  it  ;  don't  we  ? 

Angela.  Oh  yes,  Alaric.  (to  the  oihers)  I'm  only  a  simjj'e 
girl,  with  a  great  deal  to  learn  ;  but  I  hope  I  shall  make  a 
successful  duchess,  although,  as  you  know,  I've  always  lived 
in  the  country. 


CURTAIN. 


r 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA  LIBRARY 

Los  Angeles 

This  book  is  DUE  on  the  last  date  stamped  below. 


QLOCTQ^OQ 


.PE Law  - 

ii878    A   country  mouse. 


1878 
LiUlc 


